Posts tagged Treatment
People have told me I was perceptive since as far back as I can remember. At times, my perceptiveness felt like it was its own entity which I had no control over; it had its own voice in my head. Looking back on it, I mostly perceived negative things, but that was likely caused by all the bad things around me. While growing up, I could usually read a man’s ulterior motives in a matter of seconds. I could also see all of the mistakes my mother was making or about to make and part of me hated her for them.
I skipped work today. I was awake until almost 6am thinking about that Oprah show and my past. I was too exhausted to deal with people. I knew I had a doctor appointment at 2 so I intended to get some sleep, go to the doctor and then work the rest of my split shift. It didn’t work out that way. After the doctor, I went home and fell asleep and woke up too late to go to work.
The past week and a half has been eventful, luckily most of it was neutral or positive. I used to underestimate the worth of peace in my life. I thrived on drama and chaos; it could make me feel alive like little else could. These days I appreciate peace; having it improves my quality of life, which in turn helps me from falling into an episode.
Things that have happened this month, in no particular order:
I returned to work after being out sick for three weeks
I started dating again
I spent time with my grandparents, nieces, nephews, and other family members
I got to see and talk to my brother
My mother moved out
I got a new supervisor
The anniversary of my sister’s death and birth
I made peace with the miscarriage that haunted me most and I honored my lost child
I know this was written over a month ago, but I just stumbled upon it earlier. I found it to be a very touching article. I hope we live to see this dream come true.
In celebration of Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I have a dream that one day I won’t hold my breath every time I tell a person that I suffer from bipolar disorder, that I won’t feel shameful in confessing my mental illness.
I have a dream that people won’t feel the need to applaud me for my courage on writing and speaking publicly about my disease, because the diagnosis of depression and bipolar disorder would be understood no differently than that of diabetes, arthritis, or dementia.
I have a dream that the research into genetics of mood disorders will continue to pinpoint specific genes that may predispose individuals and families to depression and bipolar disorder (like the gene G72/G30, located on chromosome 13q), just as specific genes associated with schizophrenia and obsessive-compulsive disorder have been located and identified.