Posts tagged Paul

girl

Girls’ Night Out 2-1-12

1 year ago
in

I went out with and Wednesday night. First, we did a little shopping for the new apartment is planning to get. Then we went out to dinner at a home cooking style cafe. It was great to sit with them and just talk and joke. We spent more time laughing than we did eating. After we left there, and Dudney wanted to go have a few drinks at End Up. I didn’t really want to go there. It reminds me of too much and we went there for New Year’s Eve. I wanted to go to a straight bar or a lesbian bar, but Tori has social anxiety and End Up is one of the few bars she feels comfortable, so I relented.

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girl

Current State of My Romantic Life

1 year ago
in ,

Around the beginning of September I was frustrated with Sugarbear and ready to give up on our relationship. Things were at a stand-still and I couldn’t stand it anymore. There was a guy that I started talking to several years ago that popped back up. I agreed to go out on a date with him and Sugarbear knew about it. I told him that I was done putting my life on hold. I have needs and I needed some physical attention.

I didn’t plan to have with Forrest on our first date, but he made a move and I was so horny I couldn’t resist. It had been almost nine months since I had . As a person, I could barely stand Forrest, but as a lover… I was very satisfied, but he annoyed me to no end. He was asking me to be his girlfriend the next morning. I couldn’t in good conscience commit to him. I’ll never have for him, hell, I can barely stand him. I wanted him in my life for one thing, a good time. I also knew I wasn’t anywhere near over Sugarbear. I still had hope that me would light a fire under his ass to kick it up a notch. I didn’t have some malicious plan and I wasn’t trying to manipulate Sugarbear. I was prepared to move on and that’s what I was doing.

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Thanks,
BipolarChick


Fed up

Time for Some Major Changes

1 year ago
in

I’ve been fighting a depressive episode for a few months. I’ve been able to keep it at bay for the most part, until today. Today it is totally kicking my ass. I feel like the sky is falling and I’m helpless to stop it. A part of me would nothing more than just the sweet peace of oblivion, but the wiser part of myself knows that is the and if I can keep myself safe long enough the feeling will pass. PMS isn’t helping the matter any either. One minute I’m crying, overwhelmed, wanting to die, the next I’m ready to fight and find some solutions to everything that is threatening my autonomy and quality of life.

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20

Paul and Sugarbear

1 year ago
in ,

I become unsettled when little things often happen that triggers memories of an ex. It usually means I’m going to hear from him or see him somewhere. For a person like me, who believes everything happens for a reason, it’s difficult to ignore. It usually gets me thinking about our past together, then I end up analyzing… then we are back in each others lives before I know whether I want it or not.

For the past few weeks, a lot of things have reminded me of , i.e., the number 3341, , Facebook, finding out about the cause of my last , not to mention his texts and phone calls.

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  1. it was his phone’s area code when we met and I’m seeing it a lot. [↩]
128 (21)

A Healed Wound

2 years ago
in , ,

I’m sitting here listening to Nina Simone and thinking about yesterday’s anniversary; my first was 9 years ago. Since then I am always sad and/or depressed on Jan 20th, except this year, which has me a little upset in itself.

I was thinking about it earlier in the week, but I didn’t remember it again until I got off today. I was standing outside talking to a coworker about something completely unrelated and the realization blindsided me mid-sentence. It was similar to flashbacks I’ve had in the past, except there was no trigger I can identify.

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