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Nov
1
10 Songs that Describe an Aspect of Life with Bipolar Disorder
Filed Under Bipolar Disorder, Poetry & Lyrics, Suicide | Leave a Comment
10. Manic by Plumb
The most well known aspect of bipolar disorder is the manic episodes; this song is from the viewpoint of someone who loves someone that is manic.
9. Godsmack – Whatever
This song describes bipolar rage and isolation.
8. Placebo – Meds
Medications are often the cornerstone of bipolar disorder treatment.
Aug
26
Adventures with Signal Pirating Continue
Filed Under Events | Leave a Comment
Yesterday, I was off work again. Tori and I spent a large part of the day goofing off and talking. We played more games, toked, and listened to music. We are both financially challenged right now so we didn’t have many other options.
My mom has some dude crashing at my house with her. He seems nice enough, but it’s highly irritating that she let him start staying there without asking for permission from either me or Dudney. Her bf called so I took the phone back to her room. The door was halfway open, so I pushed it open more and seen what I never ever wanted to see again… my mother having sex. That was just wrong, and I am scarred. I can’t get the mental picture of my mom’s jiggling boobs out of my head. It’s quite disturbing. I talked Greg about it and although he empathized with me he couldn’t stop laughing his ass off. Tori thought it was hilarious as well.
Apr
10
Over-writing Old Memories
Filed Under Events, Flashbacks, Guys, Sexcapades, Thoughts | Leave a Comment
Zane was in a good mood when I picked him up last night. He heard yesterday that he may get his old job back soon1. He mentioned wanting us to spend an entire weekend in Dallas together as soon as he gets back on his feet.
I like Dallas, but the only time I did more than drive through it was when Raymond and I spent Labor Day weekend in Texas almost ten years ago. Damn, I can’t believe it’s been so long. He’s been married, divorced, and re-married since then. The thought of spending time with another man there feels somewhat sacrilegious, but I think it’s time to make new memories of Dallas.
What Raymond and I had way back when was special and I loved him very much, but it just didn’t fit. He tried to mold me into a Christian Stepford wife and that just isn’t me. I’m too blunt and independent-minded. I loathe conformity and I take pleasure in shaking things up from time to time. I went along with it and tried it for a few months, but I couldn’t maintain that phony façade. He frequently threw the “unevenly yoked” bible rule in my face. I am who I am and Raymond wouldn’t accept that.
I don’t like to be pushed, controlled, or goaded and I don’t stand for it very long, if at all. I’ve always had a rebellious aspect to my personality and it eventually won that battle with Raymond.
- He was laid off in February [↩]
Jul
6
Foreboding vs. Hope
Filed Under Family & Friends, Thoughts | 1 Comment
Last night, McKayla spent the night with me. Jess’ boyfriend was coming home from a week long trip and she wanted to spend a night alone with him. I love when I get to babysit McKayla overnight.
We played games, watched a sparkler bomb that Dan made, watched tv, and then we listened to music. I watched her dancing. We were both exhausted and passed out a little after 1am.
She woke up in the middle of the night and while I was rocking her I was struck by the realization that I might have to have my uterus removed. I want children. I wasn’t sure before, but now I know I want my own kids.
I started crying. Surprisingly, it wasn’t a bawl-fest. I haven’t cried in a few months and I assumed that once I did, it would be an all out emotional breakdown. It wasn’t, but that may be that’s because I had the comfort of holding McKayla in my arms, with her head against my chest…
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Jun
30
Dan & Tamara Goofing off
Filed Under Family & Friends | Leave a Comment
Here is a video from this morning.
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