Posts tagged meds

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Physical Health Update

1 year ago
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I skipped today. I was awake until almost 6am thinking about that Oprah show and my past. I was too exhausted to deal with people. I knew I had a doctor appointment at 2 so I intended to get some sleep, go to the doctor and then work the rest of my split shift. It didn’t work out that way. After the doctor, I went home and fell asleep and woke up too late to go to work. 

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Top 10 Bipolar Songs

3 years ago
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Music has often been a lifeline for me, especially when I can identify with the of particular . Not all of these are about per se, however, they resonate facets of the bipolar experience.

10. Chumbawamba – Tubthumpling lyrics (I get knocked down)

Bipolar disorder is a roller coaster. This song serves to remind us that we are fighters and we will survive and get through the . We truly only fail when we give up and stop fighting.

9. Nirvana – lithium

This song describes the Bipolar Battle perfectly. The structure of the song itself is reminiscent of Bipolar Disorder and its irrational thought patterns and short attention spans, jumping rapidly from image to image with little or no connection. It was written by Kurt Cobain, who unfortunately, lost his battle with Bipolar Disorder and killed himself April 5, 1994. Like many of us, he suffered far more depressive episodes than /hypomanic ones. The last several years of his life were spent self-medicating with hard , such as heroin and LSD. He also took lithium to treat his bipolar . Lithium is the most well known medication used to treat Bipolar Disorder. However, it carries its own horrors. It is relatively toxic and it is common to experience tremors, nausea, diarrhea, lethargy and dehydration. It can cause damage to kidneys and thyroid. It can also leave those who take it feeling tired, dull, empty and lost.

8. Godsmack – Whatever

Irritability, rage and social isolation are common symptoms of an episode, This song describes bipolar rage and isolation.

7. Matchbox 20 – Unwell

Bipolars still face a lot of stigma and discrimination. Many people automatically assume we are “crazy” and withdraw from us. We just need a little understanding.

6. Tonic – Tonic – Take Me as I am

After the bipolar diagnosis we are left trying to explain it to those we care about and we hope they can accept us as we are.

5. Placebo – Meds

Medications are often the cornerstone of bipolar disorder treatment. Many bipolars choose not to medicate as they do not wish to lose the manic highs. Or they will take the during depressive episodes but go off of them when they feel better.

4. Aerosmith – Amazing

This song describes the journey through and ideations.

3. Three Days Grace – Break

At one point or another all bipolars can identify with this song.

2. Good Charlotte – Good Charlotte – Hold On

is the leading cause of for those with bipolar disorder. This song is a reminder that we can get through those terrible times and it also reminds us how killing ourselves would affect those we care about. This song has literally saved my life.

1. Manic by Plumb

The most well known aspect of bipolar disorder is the manic episodes; this song is from the viewpoint of someone who loves a bipolar who is in the throes of a manic episode..

Honorable Mention: Macy Gray – Relating to a Psychopath


On the Lookout

4 years ago
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The chains that bound me to certain people have weakened near the point of disintegration and I’ve given myself a clean slate. As a result, I am de-stressed and I can breathe freely.

This whole being happy thing kinda scary. It’s been awhile since I’ve considered myself happy. Since I’ve been off the , I’ve been paying attention to myself, watching for signs of a or an improvement.

I see a drastic improvement. However, I’m afraid a episode could be creeping around the corner. So far, I haven’t noticed any significant . Nevertheless, my is somewhat disturbing. Right now, I’m trying to figure out whether I’m “happy” or if I’m nearly “euphoric.” While the latter feels post-orgasmic, it signals an impending nosedive. I don’t feel post-orgasmic currently, but I do feel ecstatic1.

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  1. perhaps residual effects of the x I did a few days ago or the fantastic I had with someone I actually like [↩]

Bye Bye, Bug Guy aka Patrick

4 years ago
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After five days of avoiding Patrick’s 6+ a day calls to me, I finally answered one. Patrick is persistent and would not take the hint that I really didn’t want to talk to him. I answered it just so he would stop calling. He has a tendency to drive by my house several times a day when I don’t talk to him, so I figured he knew I was home.

I knew he was looking for some naughty talk and perhaps a mid-afternoon rendezvous. I wasn’t interested, which is part of the reason I was avoiding his calls. At first, I didn’t really know what to say to him. I hadn’t really thought about him or our situation in any significant detail.

He and I have been having together irregularly for over a year. and know him as either the Guy (he usually comes over in his uniform and he’s an exterminator) or Plan-B Guy (he usually leaves a box of Plan B contraceptives in my mailbox the morning after).

After I answered his call, he immediately began telling me that he knew I was avoiding him because he’d been driving by my house. Then he started talking sexually.
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Numbness – My Favorite Defense Mechanism

4 years ago
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So much has been happening the past few months I have become numb. I am having a hard time processing everything at once, so I am trying to break it down event by event and address each one individually.

Recent Events and/or Developments
• My Grandma called me last night to tell me that my biological father called their house and spoke with my . He told him that his mother died awhile back, he got out of (again) in October, and that he is sober. Shockingly, he asked about me. My defense mechanisms are working overtime and I am still in shock.

• My brother, , and my best friend, , eloped last Tuesday. My first reaction was fury; it has since mellowed to and disappointment. I was furious because they got married without allowing anyone, me included, to witness it. David chose not to tell us because he knew we would try to talk him into waiting awhile. He is as stubborn as the rest of us. I think he was a bit foolish about rushing into a ready-made . (more…)


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