Posts tagged hopeful
It’s been awhile since I checked in with my personal blog because I’ve been devoted to creating and updating a webzine for bipolars. I don’t want my blog associated with it because I have learned (thanks to Shawna the Super Cunt) that people will use anything they can against you and your loved ones when they feel so inclined and want to hurt you. I didn’t want all the drama to carry over to my webzine so I have been stealth around here. I also did not want the two associated because I have been painfully honest about people and events in my life and I want to keep it secret to an extent.
I have missed the catharsis usually accomplished by pouring out my feelings and getting shit out in the open through my writing. I struggled with the decision whether to make “Reflections of a Crazy Life” a private or subscription only blog to prevent it from causing more pain and turmoil in my real life. I chose against privatizing it because that would have violated my purpose for creating it in the first place. Besides, the worst has come to light and I’m still here to tell about it… “Sometimes you gotta say, ‘What the fuck!’”
I’m pagan and this rare celestial event intrigued me. It was special and I wanted to do something different to celebrate it. The last time a total lunar eclipse coincided with the Winter Solstice (Yule) was almost 500 years ago and it will be at least 90 years before it happens again. I decided to get away from the city and go to the lake.
I went to Walnut Creek, which is a nearby branch of Keystone Lake. The night sky was clear and the temperature was around 48 degrees. I arrived around 11pm and I was the only one there. It was completely deserted. I was thrilled and excited. I built my bonfire from two huge tree stumps that were about a foot from each other. I placed more wood between them as well as my Yule log. It burned all night.
It can be hard making friends, and even harder to trust them. It’s very hard to find someone who really loves you and cares about you. Ideally, a friend is a person who offers love and respect and will never leave or betray you. It is very hard to find a friend who will stay and they can be easy to lose if they feel wronged.
With increasing corruption and disloyalty, it is difficult to find the right person to trust and accept as a friend. With so many people believing in gossip and cheap plots, betrayal of friendship has become very common.
People are so self absorbed these days that they do not tend to see whether the friends they have are trustworthy individuals or not. Worse are those people who betray true friends because of materialistic pleasures. Coping with a friend’s betrayal is quite hard, more so if you have no fault of yours. However, life goes on and you will make new friends. You will push away your hurtful past and hopefully learn a valuable lesson from it.
If you find yourself in a situation where a friend has seemingly betrayed you, try to follow these steps.
Yesterday, Jacob and Taylor wanted to stay the night. I let them because there are some issues going on at their home and I thought they needed some time away from there.
I had to get my oil changed so we went to Wal-Mart. As usual, the wait was 2 hours. I’ve been putting it off for about 3k miles so I knew I needed to just be patient and get it done. The kids, Tori, and I decided to kill 2 hours in Wal-Mart.
The arts/crafts section is right next to automotive so it was the first thing we seen as soon as we walked in the store. We decided to check it out. I swear we spent an hour alone on those aisles.
I bought some crocheting stuff1 and a weaving loom. I love weaving and I’m good at it. Crocheting on the other hand… I tried to teach myself how to do it about 5 years ago, and I was able to do a few basics, but I quickly lost interest. Hopefully, this time I’ll give it more time. My great-aunt knows how to do it, so I’ll probably have her teach me. It’s so much easier to learn from a live person instead of a book. After we got home we all went to work on the crafts that we got. I enjoyed spending time with the kids, like a family.
I’m starting to hear the ticking of my biological clock.
- I thought it’d be good to start crocheting as a relaxation technique. [↩]
I drove to my step-cousin’s house to get some bud earlier. I planned on getting in and out because I don’t particularly like Lisa. In fact, she has persistently irritated me for the past 22 years. She just rubs me the wrong way. However, I ended up being there for almost two hours.
We sat there and talked a little, and then we smoked a bowl together. After that, we started talking our asses off. She was telling me about her motorcycle wreck a month ago. It was pretty bad, she almost lost her leg. The doctors had to remove a lot of her calf muscle, so she can barely walk right now.
We talked about my mom. Lisa told me that my mom has been buying meth again and that she is in a lot of debt because her gambling habit. She keeps getting pulled over as well. My uncle and I had to bail her out of jail last weekend.