Posts tagged charlie
After meeting my hematologist, in January, I started thinking about my health and what I need to do to make it better. He told me I have to stop smoking, start exercising, and lose weight. Smoking and all the extra weight I’m carrying increases my already high risk for stroke, blood clots, heart attack, embolus, and deep vein thrombosis. Those factors no doubt attributed to my high blood pressure and diabetes as well. I’m at a point where if I don’t do something to turn the decline of my physical health around it will kill me sooner rather than later and I won’t be able to carry a baby full-term. I can’t handle another miscarriage.
A few months after I graduated high school I embarked on a journey to lose weight. I succeeded. I lost 100 pounds in eight months, but I did it in a less than healthy way. I took prescription diet pills and I severely restricted my caloric intake. It got to the point where I would fast 3-4 days a week and on the days I would it, I wouldn’t eat more than 500 calories. I isolated myself from everyone. I was starving myself. My family was worried about me and there were rumors of me using meth to lose weight, which were untrue.
Mickey aka SugarBear used Facebook to transition our colleague-ship to friendship and now a budding relationship. We met a little over two years ago. and I was instantly attracted to him, but I didn’t make any overtures. We both started working at Dish Network the same day. We frequently talked while in training then we went out to separate teams and had different schedules. We’d see each other on the floor occasionally, but our interactions were limited to small talk. Then about five months ago we was assigned to the same team.
We still didn’t have much interaction because we sat on opposite rows and our phone cord leashes kept us bound to a 2-3 foot radius. In September, we added each other on Facebook. He would occasionally like one of my wall posts, then he began randomly commenting on them. A seat opened up next to him and I was sick of butting heads with one of the women that sat near me, so I took the opportunity to move next to him. I think that was around the end of October. We started talking more. We subtlety flirted and we stood within inches of each other during team meetings. I began liking a few of his wall posts or making a comment here and there.
After evaluating the 007 situation, I further examined my relationship with Charlie. It is awkward as all hell for me. Normally, I can avoid the object of my awkward feelings, but the only way to avoid Charlie is to quit my job, or get him fired… That’s right; I fished off the company dock, but I got hooked. I, the queen of detachment, took a sabbatical and my heart was left free to roam in conjunction with chemistry and lust… a fine recipe for an emotional a-bomb.
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I swore off married and other emotionally unavailable men three days ago and I’m already having a hard time maintaining my resolve. At this point, I think it’s safe to say I’m addicted to assholes, cheaters, and pussy-hounds.
I was really excited about the opportunity to move to the UK for a couple of years, but my earlier declaration caused me to analyze my expectations and motives. I’ve concluded that I am trying to escape an awkward relationship with a married man, Charlie. I am getting tired of having all these affairs.