Thoughts

Life as a Fat Girl

8 years ago
in

I embrace the label of BBW (big beautiful woman) aka Fat Girl. Labels and stereotypes are everywhere. If you can’t beat them, join them. Most BBWs get offended when called fat chicks. I don’t. That’s what we are. We aren’t thin – we are FAT. Fat isn’t a four letter word. It’s just another description. I’m FAT!!!! So fucking what. My doesn’t define who I am as a person. All it says is I like to eat. Is that so wrong?

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I'm Queen Shopaholic

8 years ago
in ,

After , (my sis), (my cousin), and I went shopping. I blew over 100 bucks on some clothes I didn’t really need. They are sooo cute though. Then I went to Walgreen’s. I had only gone in there for a bottle of hair spiking glue and I blew another 100 bucks on makeup and hair shit I didn’t really need. That would have came in useful during our Houston trip next week. Oh well. I swear I cannot hold on to . I have a shopping problem. It makes me feel so good while I’m doing it, but once I get home, I feel like shit. For example, I spent $400 on a system a few weeks ago. Then the same night I went to Wal-Mart and blew another $400 on a digital camera and a bunch of other crap I didn’t need. I guess I’m improving, I only spent a 1/4 of that today. I have so much damn makeup, and I hardly ever wear it. So why do I feel I must continue to buy it all the time? I swear I am losing it……

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The Winds of Change

9 years ago
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It amazes me how quickly things can change. There have been several changes in my life.

First of all, I don’t see anymore and I haven’t in over eight months. I had a January 20th of this year. It was his child. I had left messages with his mother that I was pregnant and he never called. Then when I was at the hospital, after the , I had Jessica and Carah call her and tell her what was going on. Apparently, she didn’t care. She probably thought I was lying about the whole thing anyway. All I can say is good riddance to her and her son. Fuck them both!

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Is the American Government Really Winning their War on Drugs?

11 years ago
in ,

In the United States, more than 70 million people have tried marijuana, and millions of adults still consume it on a regular basis. About 140 million people –nearly 2.5% of the world’s population- smoke marijuana. Almost everyone has a friend, relative, neighbor, or co-worker who consumes marijuana. Because of the widespread economic and criminal justice ramifications of the illicit marijuana market and of Marijuana Prohibition, the marijuana phenomenon touches nearly everyone’s life. A “marijuana-free America” has proved to be an unrealistic goal. Therefore, we must ask ourselves, “Does Marijuana prohibition ?” Assuming the purpose of marijuana prohibition is to stop people from using marijuana, it has failed.
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Meant for Each Other?

11 years ago
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and I had the ideal relationship: we rarely fought, we treated each other with respect, we had together, we loved each other, and we trusted each other completely. At one point, we had our entire wedding and our future planned. Now there are no plans, there is only an uncertain future. No relationship carries a lifetime guarantee. I made him my world and he left me all alone to pick up the pieces of my broken heart.

At first, I was not sure if I would survive. I was well beyond devastated. I did not want to go on living without him. After a lot of crying and praying, I concluded that everything happens for a reason. I have realized that pinning my hopes and dreams on another person, especially a man, keeps me dependent. According to Patricia O’Brien, “It isn’t sufficient to seek wholeness through men, it never was and it never will be for any woman, married or single.” Life is always presenting us with tragedies, and hopefully we learn from them. These challenges should not set us back, or stunt our personal growth. In fact, they should strengthen us. “We will never be given more than we can handle.” It was a long difficult journey to get where I am now, but I still have a long ways to go because I am not finished healing yet.

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