I loathe drama, but there has been quite a bit of it brewing the last couple of weeks. In addition to the epic Shawna baby daddy drama and other family drama, someone I haven’t thought about in ages resurfaced and is trying to stir up shit too. However, he isn’t significant enough to get more than a brief mention. Tori and I got a pretty good laugh from his idiocy though.
Despite all the drama, things are going great for me. Shit happens here and there, but that’s life. I’m happy, healthy, and strong. I’ve handled far worse things in my life and the things that have recently happened barely register a blip on the radar. Character attacks, gossip, insults… big fucking deal. It’s going to take a lot more than that to bring me down. I stopped caring what people, especially my enemies, think or say of me a long time ago.
I’m open, honest, and straightforward and I’m not going to apologize for it. If you’re one of the people that don’t like it, tough titty, I’m not here to please you. Let me reiterate, IF YOU DON’T LIKE WHAT I HAVE TO SAY, THEN STOP READING MY BLOG. Go on about your life and stop reading about mine. It is that simple.
I only have one domain left to move to my new host. Yay! I hate transferring hosts, but my last one dropped the ball and there were several days of downtime the last 2 months because of it. I hope I made a good choice with the new hosting company. So far there have been some glitches, but that’s to be expected when moving so much data from one server to another.
www.bipolarchick.net is fully moved and operational, but those of you who had registered before will need to register again because I couldn’t restore the user database.
I moved the games section to my newest domain, www.mybipolarlifestyle.com. There are over 4000 free games to play. Check them out at www.mybipolarlifestyle.com/games/
I intend to build a social networking community for people with bipolar disorder. It will also be on www.mybipolarlifestyle.com
www.bipolarlifestyle.com will be the same and it is the last domain left to move so there will probably be a few days of downtime on it. I’m still working on the video gallery portion of it as well.
Building and maintaining these sites by myself is a lot of work, but I enjoy it. Since I’m doing it alone, it’s not done as quickly as I’d like it to be, but it’s progressing. I anticipate needing help with mybipolarlifestyle.com before long though.
Shawna has overstepped yet again, but this time she made an even bigger enemy out of my sister. Jess lives with Larry’s mom1. Jess and I just got off the phone and she was telling me about Shawna and David going to visit Larry2 in prison a few weekends ago, which she had already told me about back then, but apparently, it was still an issue until last night, when my sister proved Shawna lied.
After the visit, Larry called his mom to tell her what Shawna was telling him about me about my blog. As I understand it, Shawna told Larry that I wrote in graphic detail about him sexually abusing me and Jessica when we were younger, among other things. Apparently, she also made him think I had posted his full name, DOC number, address, and everything else. She also allegedly told him that she knows I was lying and no one believes my story anyway.
Jess was livid when Pearl (her grandma) asked her about my blog and told her what Shawna was saying. Jess was pissed off because she said Shawna basically indirectly called her a liar as well. At that point, Jess told Pearl and Susie (Larry’s sister) about Larry molesting her when she was a kid, and also defending me. She also read my blog and searched for the things Shawna said I wrote, which were not there. So now they know Shawna is a lying bitch as well.
I’ve been avoiding my blog again, shame on me. It’s not because I’ve been unmotivated to write, I’ve been afraid to do it. Being publicly honest about everything in my life has caused unnecessary conflict. Consequently, I have been left feeling exposed. Revealing who I am – warts and all, is scary as fuck, but it is also unburdening and enlightening.
These days it’s simple for people you know to find out what you’re up to on the internet (hell, we advertise it sometimes.) Now I understand why people use pseudonyms. It’s much safer emotionally, as well as physically.
In the beginning, I chose to use real names because I wanted to be 100% honest. Using pseudonyms seemed to make everything into a lie. I don’t regret that decision, but I do wish I hadn’t told people I know about the blog. However, I can’t change it and I’m tired of avoiding my blog over fear of what certain people may say or do. So, fuck it, I’m coming back to my blog and if you don’t like what I have to say then stop reading it.
I have to get my ass to work right now, but check back soon for more updates.
Okay, my blog has left much to be desired lately, at least from my own point of view. I have not been updating as often as I used to and when I have posted something, chances are it was brief. There are a few reasons for this: First, I am in the process of moving this website again. Second, I was afraid some of my new close friends would read it and there are things I don’t want them knowing. Third, I have been hanging out with my new friends so often I hardly have much time for myself, much less time to write. I am not complaining, I have been having a great time, but I need to try to balance my social life with other aspects of my life.
I also have not been smoking marijuana very often because I knew about my impending need for a job hunt, which would most likely result in a drug test. The other drugs we had been experimenting with (alcohol, pills, mushrooms, and ecstasy; I tried the ecstasy three times and the mushrooms once) were out of our systems within three days.