I’m feeling much better emotionally. Sugarbear and I had a good talk last night. He sent me another pic of him all smiley and gorgeous. I’ve known him for over three years and we’ve been, as lame as it sounds, courting for the past year, as of December 12th.  I’m ridiculously attracted to him. He still gives me butterflies, just as he did from day one. We are still a bit guarded with each other sometimes, but he opened up some tonight.

He’s off his pedestal, but I still want him. No man in my entire life has kept me interested without for a year. The closest was , with eight months… and I thought and I moved painfully slow. Haha, if I only knew then… Well, come to think of it, I’m glad I didn’t know what was going on because I really loved with as much as my heart as I could and had I known the truth from the start, I would not have experienced that with him. Not excusing him, but I know things would have been very different and I don’t want that. He’s turned into a jerk, either that or my blinders are off and I have the benefit of hindsight. Can’t change the past but I can prevent it from repeating.

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