I skipped today. I was awake until almost 6am thinking about that Oprah show and my past. I was too exhausted to deal with people. I knew I had a doctor appointment at 2 so I intended to get some sleep, go to the doctor and then work the rest of my split shift. It didn’t work out that way. After the doctor, I went home and fell asleep and woke up too late to go to work. 

My doctor reconfirmed the lab results and wants me to start seeing a hematologist to determine the best treatment. My A1C was 8.8% three months ago. She ran the test again today and it was down to 6.6%. My blood pressure is finally within a healthy range as well. She was proud of me. Her goal is for me to stay around the 6.5% range for A1C and maintain my current average blood pressure. I can tell a difference in how I feel and how my body is behaving. I’m losing too, without even trying, which is awesome. 

She took me off the Celexa last month because it made me flip the fuck out. I scared everyone at the apartment. They all thought I was going to kill myself so Dena brought over. She, , , and babysat me until the next morning when I finally passed out. Before I found sleep, I wrote some crazy shit with red lipstick all over my bathroom mirrors and walls. I don’t even remember most of that night. After that, I asked my doctor to put me back on the Wellbutrin XL and she did. 

It’s working, but not quite well enough so she increased it to 300mg daily per my request. When I was on Lamictal 400mg daily, I was also taking 450mg of Wellbutrin XL daily to try to balance it out, but that was just too damn much. 

Despite the new diagnosis, my is improving. I’ve probably had the AAS for a long time. I’m bummed about having to see another specialist, but c’est la vie.

I’m lucky I didn’t cause myself to get a clot when I used to bloodlet. I could’ve stroked out and ended up on 1000 ways to die… utter humiliation.

On this day..