I am feeling somewhat better. I haven’t cried since yesterday. The past couple of days I worked 11 hours shifts because the distraction really helps. If I’m at then I’m busy and unable to think about losing my baby and within a day of each other.

There have been so many people here for me through this heart wrenching time and I’m more grateful that I can even express. If it wasn’t for my and and Paul’s I don’t think I would have pulled through, at the very least I would have relapsed and self-injured, at worst I would have killed myself. I’m far from healed or over losing the baby, but at least I’m not bursting into tears every few minutes anymore.

However, today will be extremely hard for me. I have to go back to the doctor to find out if they are going to do a D&C or not. Paul’s niece, Taylor-Paige, is going with me. She spent the night here last night and she also stayed with me Monday night. His family has been so supportive and loving, he obviously has not. They blame him for making me lose the baby, as do I and the few people who know the full story.

If I never see that lowlife cocksucker again it will be too soon.

On this day..