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  I have NOT self-injured in 2 years, 2 months, and 9 days.

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Life can still change with the blink of an eye. This time last week, I was happy, in love, and pregnant. Today I’m devastated, single, and not pregnant.

I just got home from seeing the doctor a little while ago because I woke up about 9:30 this morning with severe cramps and bleeding. I was under an extreme amount of stress due a situation I don’t want to discuss right now.

At first the doctor thought I was just having normal bleeding that happens sometimes early in pregnancy. She calculated the length of pregnancy by my last normal period and said I was almost 9 weeks pregnant. Then she said my due date was September 17^th. After that she did an ultrasound and for a minute she had a very solemn look on her face before she said, “I’m sorry, sweetie, but you are having a miscarriage.” And then she showed me the shadow that had been my baby and I can’t even describe the pain I felt and still feel. The doctor had blood drawn to see if I’m anemic and to check my hcg level. She wants me to come back on the 11^th to see if they will need to do a d&c.

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