Remember When… I Almost Drowned
A couple nights ago, Tori, Dudney, and I were talking about what songs we want played at our funerals. The subject got brought up because we heard the song “Stay” by Shakespeare’s Sister. The conversation evolved into ways we wouldn’t want to die, ways we always thought we would die, ways we would want to die and then eventually our own suicide attempts and other brushes with death. It got me thinking about a near-drowning incident when I was five years old.
My mom and Larry took me and my cousin Dena to the lake for swimming and a cookout. It was before David was born and before Larry showed us his true colors. He and my mom had been dating for awhile. I liked him and was beginning to think of him as a father.
I was wearing a one-piece red swimming suit that had removable foam floaters sewn into it. I removed the foam tubes and went into the water with Dena while Mom and Larry were grilling burgers. I didn’t know it at the time, but they were tripping on acid.
I was riding on Dena’s back while she was swimming out into the lake. We hadn’t gone very far but it was still over my head. Dena stood me on an underwater rock. It was covered with a ton of slimy moss and I slipped off it and then plunged deep underwater. I got caught in the current and it pulled further and further out.
At first, I was scared and thrashed about, trying to pull myself up, but then I realized I was just making it worse, so I stopped fighting it. I had my hands on my hips and was tapping my foot, asking myself how much longer it would be before someone got me out of the water. I’m not sure how much time had passed but remember a feeling of peace overcame me. It felt like I could breathe underwater. Then I remember thinking I was going to die. I accepted my fate. The next thing I remember was coming to on a blanket and coughing up lake-water. I remember feeling confused and sad. I thought I was supposed to be dead.
Apparently, a woman had been down near the water watching her children swim and noticed my hair floating near the top of the water and started screaming. Larry dove in and pulled me out then someone did CPR to revive me. Later, Mom said she thought I was dead because my lips and face were blue. It seemed to shake her up quite a bit. I know it scared Dena and after she told her parents what happened she wasn’t allowed to visit us for awhile.
I’m surprised that I didn’t become afraid of the water after that experience. In fact, the exact opposite happened. I wanted to swim all the time.
On this day..
About BipolarChick (599 posts)
I’m a thirty-something bipolar woman, an advanced tech agent with a pay tv provider, tax preparer for a local charity, current Tulsa inhabitant, and I’m one credit shy of an Associate Degree in Liberal Arts. I’m working on recovery from self-injury and working toward stabilizing my bipolar symptoms. Recovery is very important to me. I’ve been mostly single the past few years and plagued by a seemingly never-ending series of jackasses, assholes, and married men. I have no children of my own, but I have lots of nieces and nephews I love to spoil.