Bipolar + Boredom = Uh Oh
I learned something a little while ago; getting bored when you’re by yourself and bipolar isn’t a good combination. I’ve been staying up until at least 3am (but usually until 5:30ish) since I started this new work schedule. I don’t have to get up until 10:30 or 11am and I like how quiet everything is after 1am.
A couple nights ago, I was reading old posts and got nostalgic about some things and angry about others. I was reminded of Zane and I got pissy. We put things on hold because his life was a mess and his ex was starting to use their kids as a weapon.
I logged in to myspace to play mafia wars (I’m fucking ridiculously addicted to that game) and I seen my Own Your Friends app. It’d had been about 2 months since I played it. I decided to play around with it and I came across Zane’s old profile, his future ex-wife still owned him. That bugged me, so I bought him.
When I checked it last night, I noticed she bought him back and wrote “jen is a dirty cunt” for his status message. I couldn’t let it be. The c-word is the most insulting thing a woman can be called in my opinion. I didn’t resort to name-calling. I decided to cut deeper than that. I bought him back and changed his status to “Jen’s favorite sex toy.”
I was right; it cut her to the quick. So she bought him back and changed his status. I hesitate to quote her because what she said bothers me, but I’ll go ahead and do it anyway. She wrote, “he said you must be talking about his big fat toe cuz that’s all he would ever touch your dirty skanky fat ass with!”
He may have denied us being together out of fear of her threatening to take his kids again, but I seriously doubt he said anything negative about me. Zane felt as strongly attracted to me as I did to him. We were like magnets. And for her to call me those other names – it just got my goat. I’ve seen pictures of her and she could have been Picasso’s inspiration for “Head of a Woman”.
Yeah, I may be fat, but I’m still pretty. That bitch is Fugly. She is fat also. Zane has a thing for big women.
I decided it was time to nip the shit in the bud, so I logged in to my cousins’ myspace profiles and started buying him. I got his worth up to $340k and then bought him back with my profile. She only has like $140k, so she’s not going to be able to afford him for quite awhile. Then I smacked her with him and changed his status to “tongue fu master”. Then I bought her and changed her status to “Dumb Bitch”. Then smacked her a few times.
Thinking about it now, I realize it was a childish thing to do. However, I don’t regret it. I feel better and no one got physically hurt. I feel like I won the battle with her. Drama, I know, but I needed to shake things up a little.

On this day..
- Slacking - 2008








Boy, we are sooo much alike, Jen. I guess all of us Bipolars are pretty much the same. I too, cannot get too bored. I get "weird." Things eat at me, drive me crazy.
I just got back from a "vacation from hell." I say this because I had a spat with my MIL, sprained my foot (was not walking for like 4 days) and then on our way back from up north, we stopped in TN. My oldest dog was hit by a car and killed. I was the one who found her, I have not hardly slept since then.
We have three dogs. This gal, we adopted in 2004 when another dog we had died of cancer. The rescue place we got her from lied about her age, she was a lot older than we thought and when we got her, she was skinny, full of fleas, had worms, etc…, Within two months, she had gained weight and looked good. She was my angel, slept with me every night. She was getting kind of senile, she got away from us for a couple of minutes, that was the last I saw her alive. I blame myself although it was a horrible mistake.
No more vacations for ME for awhile. I have a small business, have LOTS of work to do now that I am back. Had a friend helping me run things while I was gone but not the same as me being there. I make soap and candles, plus sell herbs and teas. Have a LOT of soap to make now. Will take a few weeks to get caught up.
I haven't read your blog for awhile, still have some reading to do. Hope tha you are OK, wondered how you were doing.
You're right, you ARE pretty!! Don't let the miserable people get to ya!