Whenever ’s face enters my mind I cringe because I want to choke the shit out of her. I don’t literally want to kill her, but I am still angry with her for manipulating my brother into marrying her. I am still enraged with her because their “happy” is based on a big fat lie and the longer it takes for the truth to come out my baby brother is going to be even more heartbroken and devastated.

I have said before that I only hate four people: 1, Wayne2, Pete3, and Pam4.

I have a strong dislike and/or disgust toward a few others: 5, Tricia6, Jeanie7, Liz & Silvia8, Willy9 and T-Bone10.

For the past eight months or so, Shawna has been in limbo between those two . At several points of our twelve year friendship I loved her like a sister. I was mad as hell at her for stabbing me in the back a few times during that same timeframe. However, I always forgave her misdeeds because she would be there for me when I really needed her. It’s different this time. How do I forgive her for what she did to my brother and our family while she is still doing it?

(more…)


  1. my [↩]
  2. one of my mom’s exes who molested me [↩]
  3. the ex-step uncle that raped me [↩]
  4. my sister, ’s mother – who kept us apart for years, then died [↩]
  5. ex-best friend who betrayed me [↩]
  6. ’s future ex-wife [↩]
  7. ’s baby momma [↩]
  8. bitch sisters that jumped me on my 17th birthday [↩]
  9. a neighbor that molested and tried to kidnap me [↩]
  10. [↩]