I’ve still been a few times a month, but not having with him. I’ve also started getting closer to a couple more guys I’ve met recently. One was through some and the other one works with me. Things are still on the flirting level with the two new guys. Greg and I are in the comfort zone, and I’m not quite sure where things stand with .

Things with Zane have cooled off a bit. We haven’t seen each other or spoken much the past two weeks because we have completely opposite schedules now. He’s only off on Tuesdays and the rest of the week he works 7pm – 4am. I’m off Friday and Saturdays, but 10:45am-7:30ish the rest of the week. When he’s off I’m at or sleeping and when I’m off he’s at or sleeping.

Zane also has a lot of challenges to deal with right now: this whole pre-divorce thing, trying to get back on his feet financially due to being out of work for almost three months, and a moderately severe depressive episode. Apparently, he’s bipolar type 2. He was diagnosed after we lost touch before, I just found out a few weeks ago.

There is great and chemistry with him, but I’m still trying to get used to stable moods and I’m afraid his is going to rub off on me. I know it’s not contagious per se; however, I’m sensitive to the moods of others. I think it would be in my best interest to pull back a bit and slow things down. At the rate we were going we’d have been cohabitating within a couple months or less.

I’m not in any hurry to relinquish my freedom and I don’t want him latching on to me out of need. I want a healthy and stable relationship that isn’t dominated by my hormones. I have just found myself again and I don’t want to get lost in an unhealthy relationship yet again. That being said, I don’t think my relationship with Zane is unhealthy, but I believe it could have become that way if things stayed the way we were. We didn’t make the decision to take time away from each other, but I think it’s a good thing circumstances have caused us to ease up a bit.

I still don’t feel the pressure of my “biological clock” and I am still content with not being one-half of a couple. I still have my freedom and independence, which is important to me. I’m only thirty, there’s no need to rush into a serious relationship. I still have plenty of time for all of that. However, I have stopped just using men for sex which is an important step.