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Life After 30
This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 20th, 2009 at 8:22 am
Topic: Bipolar Disorder, Events, Recovery, Relationships, Thoughts
All aspects of my life are going fabulous; quite a change from the constant turmoil of the past several years. My career is progressing well, my home life is satisfying, I have great friends and family (with a few exceptions), things have heated up in the romantic arena, and the EEOC is finally getting the ball rolling with the complaint I filed against Directv.
It has taken some getting used to, but I am accepting the good things as they come. I am genuinely happy, and it is a huge relief to know it’s not the fake happiness of a manic or hypomanic episode. I have found stability, on my own.
With a little help from my favorite herb I have clawed my way back from the depths of the black hole of depression, which wasn’t an easy task by far, but it has made me even stronger and I am proud of myself. Of course my life isn’t perfect, but nothing ever is in reality.
I am embracing change and I’m not dwelling on what I don’t have; I’m taking time to appreciate what I have and who I am and it has altered my outlook to the point of true contentment and self-acceptance. The optimism and joie de vive that used to be such a major part of my personality an eternity ago has returned.
I think turning thirty has something to do with it as well. I was a little afraid of my birthday this year because the way my mom’s thirtieth birthday affected her. She went on quite the anonymous sex, drug, and alcohol binge which was followed a deep depression. At the time, no one suspected she was bipolar. Seeing my mom bring home a random man from the bar at least four nights a week caused me to lose a lot of respect for her back then.
So far, thirty has been great for me. The dawn of a new decade for myself has allowed me to start over in a sense, similar to a new year but on a much grander scale.
On this day..
- Tearing Down the Walls - 2007
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I’ll never forget my 30th and the year that follows – probably the best of my life so far! Hope you carry on feeling that way too.
Thanks, Chan. I hope so as well. So far so good. How are things with you?