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May
21
On the Romantic Front
Filed Under Guys, Relationships, Thoughts | 4 Comments
I’ve still been dating Greg a few times a month, but not having sex with him. I’ve also started getting closer to a couple more guys I’ve met recently. One was through some friends and the other one works with me. Things are still on the flirting level with the two new guys. Greg and I are in the comfort zone, and I’m not quite sure where things stand with Zane.
Things with Zane have cooled off a bit. We haven’t seen each other or spoken much the past two weeks because we have completely opposite schedules now. He’s only off on Tuesdays and the rest of the week he works 7pm – 4am. I’m off Friday and Saturdays, but work 10:45am-7:30ish the rest of the week. When he’s off I’m at work or sleeping and when I’m off he’s at work or sleeping.
Zane also has a lot of challenges to deal with right now: this whole pre-divorce thing, trying to get back on his feet financially due to being out of work for almost three months, and a moderately severe depressive episode. Apparently, he’s bipolar type 2. He was diagnosed after we lost touch before, I just found out a few weeks ago.
May
20
Life After 30
Filed Under Bipolar Disorder, Events, Recovery, Relationships, Thoughts | 2 Comments
All aspects of my life are going fabulous; quite a change from the constant turmoil of the past several years. My career is progressing well, my home life is satisfying, I have great friends and family (with a few exceptions), things have heated up in the romantic arena, and the EEOC is finally getting the ball rolling with the complaint I filed against Directv.
It has taken some getting used to, but I am accepting the good things as they come. I am genuinely happy, and it is a huge relief to know it’s not the fake happiness of a manic or hypomanic episode. I have found stability, on my own.
With a little help from my favorite herb I have clawed my way back from the depths of the black hole of depression, which wasn’t an easy task by far, but it has made me even stronger and I am proud of myself. Of course my life isn’t perfect, but nothing ever is in reality.
May
13
Shawna the Super Cunt Strikes Again
Filed Under Blog, Events, Family & Friends, Relationships, Thoughts | 4 Comments
Shawna has overstepped yet again, but this time she made an even bigger enemy out of my sister. Jess lives with Larry’s mom1. Jess and I just got off the phone and she was telling me about Shawna and David going to visit Larry2 in prison a few weekends ago, which she had already told me about back then, but apparently, it was still an issue until last night, when my sister proved Shawna lied.
After the visit, Larry called his mom to tell her what Shawna was telling him about me about my blog. As I understand it, Shawna told Larry that I wrote in graphic detail about him sexually abusing me and Jessica when we were younger, among other things. Apparently, she also made him think I had posted his full name, DOC number, address, and everything else. She also allegedly told him that she knows I was lying and no one believes my story anyway.
Jess was livid when Pearl (her grandma) asked her about my blog and told her what Shawna was saying. Jess was pissed off because she said Shawna basically indirectly called her a liar as well. At that point, Jess told Pearl and Susie (Larry’s sister) about Larry molesting her when she was a kid, and also defending me. She also read my blog and searched for the things Shawna said I wrote, which were not there. So now they know Shawna is a lying bitch as well.
May
5
My 30th Birthday Party
Filed Under Events, Family & Friends, Guys, Relationships | 6 Comments
My birthday was Sunday, May 3rd, but I had the party Saturday night. I had a great time. However, two people that I care about didn’t attend – David (my brother) and Zane. Zane had to work the overnight shift, so I understood and it wasn’t a big deal. I knew he’d make it up to me later. My brother wasn’t informed of the event or invited. I didn’t invite him for a couple reasons: we haven’t spoken since February and he would have brought the lazy, lying, manipulative, spiteful bitch/cunt he married and I don’t want her toxic ass anywhere near me. I kept it small because I have more fun with people I am comfortable around. The attendees were Tori, Dudney, Jess, Dan, Andy, Lisa, Tim, Dena, Matt, and Jeremy. Around 3am a most unlikely and unexpected person showed up… Nick.
Andy and Jeremy were the first ones to arrive. They were pretty early and called it the VIP party. We started drinking Absinthe and Jager bombs after we broke in Andy’s new dual vaporizer. We were pretty damned buzzed by the time everyone else starting showing up. They caught up pretty quick. We were playing the Godfather on PS2 when Dan arrived. Then we moved on to Guitar Hero World Tour. Andy tried to sing, Dan showed off his expert guitar skills, and Jeremy and I took turns playing bass and guitar. No one was coordinated enough to try the drums.
Lisa and Tim came after the Blues Traveler concert and they had the most catching up to do. Everyone was shitfaced by the time they got here. Lisa made me drink more with her, so I drank the most out of everyone. Andy ended up passing out on the loveseat and Jeremy prayed to the porcelain god a few times. I held my liquor very well, didn’t get pissed off at anyone, didn’t relapse and cut, and didn’t puke. Go me!
Dudney was drunker than everyone and blacked out. I don’t know if he started texting Nick or if Nick texted him first, but he asked me if I knew where to get some bud for Nick. I hadn’t spoken to Nick since the whole Tamara fiasco last autumn. I had no intention of doing him any favors and told Dudney no. Shortly thereafter he came back into my room and handed me his phone. It was Nick.
May
1
He Wants Me, He Really Really Wants Me, LOL
Filed Under Events, Guys, Relationships, Sexcapades | 13 Comments
When Zane came over we discussed the situation with his future ex-wife. He told me things that I already know: it was his decision to separate and she still hopes they will reconcile. He says there is zero chance they will get back together and he told me not to pay attention to her petty attempts to goad me. He told me he is with exactly who he wants to be with: ME! 
There was one thing that has been bugging me since we started dating. He was still wearing his wedding band. He had told me from day one that it was stuck on his finger and that was the only reason he was still wearing it. I had been awaiting the right moment to ask him to let me try to get it off. I finally felt the moment was right and I asked him. He gave me the chance without hesitation.
I took him to the kitchen and poured Dawn dish soap all over his finger and tried to get it off. My nails have gotten pretty long and I had a hard time so I yelled for Dudney to come help me and between the two of us we got it off. It was a huge victory for me and I was surprised by the relief I felt. He was thankful it was off and asked if he could throw it in the fireplace.
After that, we had incredible sex in the shower then the bed, and then we went back to the shower, and then back to my bed. We had sex for hours. We talked about much passion we have for each other and how much we enjoy spending time together. He left some very dark hickeys on my breasts and one on my neck… marking his territory apparently.
