Last night before bed, I signed in to yahoo messenger. I stayed invisible because I didn’t want to chat with anyone that was online. An old chat buddy of mine and ’s messaged me. It had been at least a couple years since we chatted. She was the only one1 who fully supported my relationship with Erick, even after we split up. I think she may even have wanted us together more than I did.

We chatted for about an hour and a half. We talked about several things; of course, Erick was one of them. I told her I made a decision last month to be only with him and how liberated I feel because of it. She held on to the belief of Erick and I being perfect for each other for awhile, but eventually, I got her to understand why I think it’s for the best to close that chapter of my life. I also told her about .

I went to bed around 2am, when I woke up around 7:30am I had a text message from Erick waiting on me. He had sent it shortly after 4am. I messaged him back. He was still awake and we texted back and forth for almost an hour and a half. We talked about Tricky a little. Then he said, “I heard you gotta new boyfriend.” He said he caught that on my blog, but that he didn’t read the whole post.

I told him that Zane isn’t my boyfriend, but the relationship has some serious potential and that I haven’t felt chemistry close to this since he and I were together all those years ago. We touched on the subject of our relationship briefly; it amounted to me re-confirming I was serious when I told him I want us to be just friends. He didn’t try to fight it, or even wish me well with Zane2. He just reminded me that he previously told me I’d replace him someday.

I don’t have any doubts about my decision. However, a part of me is sad to see the final chapter. Letting go of our relationship was a huge step for me. I don’t what we shared. In fact, I learned a shit-ton from it. However, everything has an end and I’m anticipating an amazing new chapter of my life.

On this day..


  1. who knew the whole story [↩]
  2. not that I expected it [↩]