Dec

31

An Abandoned Daughter’s Dilemma

Filed Under Family & Friends, Relationships, Thoughts | 5 Comments

I have mixed feelings about what to do about my father. I have been considering returning his recent call. I have not had contact with him since a few weeks after my eighteenth birthday when I wised up and finally seen him for who he was and then severed all ties with him. After our falling out, I started referring to him as the sperm donor and I repressed any loving feelings I ever felt toward him.

This could be the opportunity to build a real relationship with him. On the other hand, interacting with him may hurt me all over again and renew the scars he caused. To my knowledge, my father has never been a good man. He is an abusive, misogynistic, sadistic bigot/alcoholic/murderer. The nicest thing I can say about him is he isn’t a child molester or rapist.
Read more…

Dec

21

Numbness – My Favorite Defense Mechanism

Filed Under Events, Family & Friends, Guys, Relationships, Thoughts | Leave a Comment

So much has been happening the past few months I have become numb. I am having a hard time processing everything at once, so I am trying to break it down event by event and address each one individually.

Recent Events and/or Developments
• My Grandma called me last night to tell me that my biological father called their house and spoke with my Pawpa. He told him that his mother died awhile back, he got out of prison (again) in October, and that he is sober. Shockingly, he asked about me. My defense mechanisms are working overtime and I am still in shock.

• My brother, David, and my best friend, Shawna, eloped last Tuesday. My first reaction was fury; it has since mellowed to anger and disappointment. I was furious because they got married without allowing anyone, me included, to witness it. David chose not to tell us because he knew we would try to talk him into waiting awhile. He is as stubborn as the rest of us. I think he was a bit foolish about rushing into a ready-made family. Read more…

Dec

4

Sometimes Justice Does Prevail

Filed Under Events, Thoughts | 1 Comment

Today is my ex-stepfather’s birthday and he is spending it in prison, with very little hope of ever getting out alive. He has Hepatitis C – a direct result of sharing needles to shoot dope.

I feel no sympathy towards him at all. I think karma finally came around and he is getting exactly what he deserves… a slow painful death locked away from the rest of the world.

I recently found out that his appeal was denied, in part because of a letter I wrote a few years ago to the family of the man Larry killed while driving drunk. The man, Tim Avera’s, wife and sister brought the letter to the attention of courts. I told them exactly what kind of man Larry is, as well as many of the horrendous things he has done and gotten away with, and I expressed my sympathy for them.

Larry was sentenced to two 45-year sentences to run consecutively instead of concurrently which means he was sentenced to 90 years. His appeals are dead so the only hope he has is a time reduction due to his terminal illness.
Read more…