Archive for September, 2008

Top 20 Signs of Bipolar Disorder: Top 10 Signs of Mania and Top 10 Signs of Depression

3 years ago
in

Not everyone who has bipolar disorder a.k.a. experiences every symptom. Some people experience a few symptoms, some many. The severity of symptoms varies with individuals and varies over time.
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Letting Go

3 years ago
in

I no longer feel any animosity toward for his behavior. However, I am tinged with and resentment over the Nick and situation as a whole. I am not remorseful because I have no reason to be; I did nothing wrong. Nevertheless, I am still mourning the loss of two friendships I considered very dear once upon a time.

I have been giving the situation a lot of thought since the falling out. It is not necessary to keep reviewing how I have been hurt or to assign blame. I am ready to begin letting go of my negative . However, this does not mean I am willing to let one or both of them back into my life. I can forgive them without having to continue associating with either of them.

Instead of thinking of forgiveness as an eraser to wipe another’s slate clean, I will think of it as scissors. I will use it to cut the strings of resentment than bind me to the hurt and other negative feelings this situation has caused. By releasing this resentment, I will set myself free. Wallowing in all the negativity will not alter the situation.
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Nick is Dead to Me

3 years ago
in , , ,

Around 10:30 last night, started a fight with me and I know without a doubt that is behind it.

Nick: Why have you been talking shit about me?
Me: To whom?
Me: That is news to me.
Nick: Whatever I have seen proof. I thought we could still be but I was wrong! And stop posting our conversations online.

I didn’t want to get into everything in text messages, so I tried to call him. He let it go to voicemail and I left him a message. I said, “We need to talk about this. Call me when you can act like an adult. In the meantime, I can do as I please.”

He responded with a text:

Nick: I don’t want to talk to you. bye.
Me: Fine with me. BTW writing about my life is not talking shit about you.

We didn’t talk for about an hour after that, and then he sent me more messages.
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Made of Scars

3 years ago
in

I sooooooo relate to this song

Made of Scars by Stone Sour

THIS ONE came from looking – THIS ONE opened twice
THESE TWO seemed smooth as silk, flush against my eyes
THIS ONE needes stitches and THIS ONE came from rings
THIS ONE isn’t even there, but I feel it more because you don’t care

Yeah – CUT right into me
Yeah – because I am made of SCARS
Yes, I am made of SCARS

THIS ONE had it coming – THIS ONE found a vein
THIS ONE was an accident, but never gave me pain
THIS ONE was ’s and THIS ONE you can’t see
THIS ONE had me scared to ,
but I guess I should be glad I’m not dead

Yeah – CUT right into me
Yeah – because I am made of SCARS
Yes, I am made of SCARS

GOD – DON’T YOU BELIEVE THE HYPE

…And I will find a way – everything you are I will betray
Oh, I swear that I will find a way – everything you are’s inside me

THIS ONE was the first one – THIS one had a vice
THIS ONE here I like to rub on dark and stormy nights
THIS ONE was the last one – I don’t remember how
But I remember blood and rain
AND I NEVER SAW IT COMING AGAIN

Yeah – CUT right into me
Yeah – because I am made of SCARS
Yes, I am made of SCARS


I Talked to Nick Today

3 years ago
in , , ,

I got to a little early today, as usual, but today I actually talked with for a few minutes. Our conversations have been little more than “hi, how ya doing?” since shortly after the “misunderstanding”1 was cleared up. I have been questioning whether I wanted to maintain a friendship with Nick or not, so I was keeping my distance from him.

He told me that he stopped the other girls he was seeing and now he is just with . Surprisingly, it did not bother me. I wished him good luck with her. He is going to need it, but I did not tell him that. He will find out on his own soon enough, I am sure.

I told him I started buying him on the Myspace “Own Your Friends” application because does not have internet access anymore and she does not want Tamara keeping him. He laughed and told me that he knew because when Tamara picked him up from work yesterday she was going off on him about it. That made me start laughing. I enjoy pissing her off as much as Shawna does.
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  1. Misunderstanding my ass. I know he covered for Tamara in an attempt to save the friendship that Tamara and I shared. [↩]
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