So far, my new job is going well. They started training me to run machines my first night, thanks to . He put in a great word for me. He told them, “She is damn smart and a very quick learner. She can go straight to a machine…” It still surprises me a little when I think of believing and especially saying positive things about me. I am not certain what has gotten in to him, but I like it for the most part. Our friendship is getting back on track.

When I think about our past relationship, or read posts I wrote when we were together, I wonder how skewed my perception was of him and things that happened. I was clearly in an episode, but how much of what I thought was irrational, but correct, and how much was irrational and incorrect? I suppose the only way to know without a doubt is to ask him about it, but I am not sure I want to get into that complex issue.

Besides, the thing that bothered me most about our relationship was explained a couple weeks ago. When we were together the last time, I was convinced that Nick was repulsed by me because we did not have . He would conveniently fall asleep or have some other excuse.

The last time Nick and I had sex was an experiment, but apparently, he was unaware of that. He did not enjoy it much and was afraid I wanted to do it that way from then on. He was too scared to tell me about it so he just dodged having sex with me. I wish he had told me back then and things may be very different between us. Our communication skills left much to be desired, obviously. Nonetheless, I have always believed that things happen for a reason. Time will tell.

On this day..