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I Still Feel Betrayed

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 21st, 2008 at 10:23 am

Last night was very trying for me, but I got through it will the help of two true ; and . helped the most. He listened to me vent and gave me advice about the situation. listened to me vent. He was in shock himself after I told him about the betrayal.

When Tamara left here late last night, it was on decent terms. We talked everything out and she told me she was going to break things off with Nick today. I doubt she will do it, her word isn’t worth shit to me anymore.

I slept about five hours. When I woke up I had a text from Nick. He hadn’t talked to Tamara yet. He’s at work and I knew he couldn’t really get into it right now, but I had to say something. I couldn’t contain it any longer. I answered him and it was civil, but I couldn’t keep from asking him about what Tamara slipped up and told me. We had a mini text argument, which follows in its entirety:

Nick: It’s going to be a long day LOL
Me: You ain’t lying.
Nick: I think I’m still drunk
Me: that doesn’t surprise me. How much do you remember?
Nick: LOL, I remember everything of course.
Me: I’m surprised… Why didn’t you tell me about yall hanging out behind my back?
Nick: LOL What?
Me: Tamara slipped up and told me. Don’t play games with me, Nick. Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I feel beyond betrayed.
Nick: Ok yeah we have been seeing each other and I wanted to tell you but she said not yet.
Me: That’s really fucked up. How could you do that and then pretend my opinion mattered last night? I expected this from her, but not you.
Nick: It does matter, but you’re not being reasonable.
Me: And you lying and going behind my back it is? WTF?!?
Nick: Well, you would not let me see her so I had to
Me: You asked me about it one time before last night so don’t give me that bullshit.
Nick: Asked you about what?
Me: My okay for you to ask her out.
Nick: And you said no.
Me: So you hung out with her behind my back and lied to me about it. You could have at least been straight up with me like you pretended last night. If our friendship mattered to you, last night would’ve happened before you started seeing her. You wouldn’t have gone behind my back.
Me: Like I said, I expected something like this from her after what she did before, but not you.
Nick: Listen I’m really busy at work we can talk more later.
Me: Fine, whatever.

I’m glad I had a chance to talk to him first. I at least got to vent my feelings before Tamara talks to him later today. There is no telling what she is going to say to him. After tonight, I may be short two . Well, I may be short two anyway because I am not sure I can forgive them. It would be easier to forgive him considering she initiated things, but it’s going to take a lot. I know without a doubt that I cannot trust her again, ever.

My mom has always said, “Fuck me over once, shame on you. Fuck me over twice, shame on me.” I am sure as hell not going to let it happen a third time. I think I will be better off without her in my life.

On this day..

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3 Responses to “I Still Feel Betrayed”

  1. Felicia on August 21st, 2008 3:01 pm

    I saw that your status was betrayed. So, I went to your blog to find out why. Girl, I must say I’m surprised. The Jennifer I knew wouldn’t take that shit the first time, let alone a second time! I think you have underestimated yourself. You are such a wonderful person, with so much to offer other people. Not just in a romantic way, but in a friendship as well. If these people don’t realize that (and they obviously don’t) then you need to give them the boot out of your life, once and for all. I love you and I don’t want to see or read of you going this pain like this. Life offers enough pain and surprises; you don’t need your so called “friends” to add to the shit. You need friends that are going to be there for you and down for whatever. Not friends who seek out the men in your life. Fuck that shit. I think the time has come, for you to put on a slutty little black dress and head to a Mexican bar. ? J/k. You need to surround yourself with decent people who with value your true friendship, and love you for you.

  2. Chan on August 23rd, 2008 4:00 am

    My feelings exactly! Start surrounding yourself with decent people and your life will change for the better - it is really that simple!

  3. bipolarchick on August 23rd, 2008 10:32 am

    You’re both right. Tamara is no longer a friend of mine. I’m not sure if I’m going to replace her not yet. Guy friends are usually more fun and they don’t stab you in the back.

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