It can be hard making , and even harder to them. It’s very hard to find someone who really loves you and cares about you. Ideally, a friend is a person who offers and respect and will never leave or betray you. It is very hard to find a friend who will stay and they can be easy to lose if they feel wronged.

With increasing corruption and disloyalty, it is difficult to find the right person to trust and accept as a friend. With so many people believing in gossip and cheap plots, betrayal of friendship has become very common.

People are so self absorbed these days that they do not tend to see whether the friends they have are trustworthy individuals or not. Worse are those people who betray true friends because of materialistic pleasures. Coping with a friend’s betrayal is quite hard, more so if you have no fault of yours. However, life goes on and you will make new friends. You will push away your hurtful past and hopefully learn a valuable lesson from it.

If you find yourself in a situation where a friend has seemingly betrayed you, try to follow these steps.

1. Determine if the whole thing was a misunderstanding. It is easy to get emotional (positive or negative) with friends and you may have rushed to conclusions. Make sure they really have done something wrong, and, if they have, find if they are apologetic.

2. Keep things in perspective. The whole situation may not be as bad as you think. This will make apologies and forgiveness easier to obtain.

3. Do not be afraid to seek help and talk about it to others. Betrayal by someone you love and trust is excruciating. Don’t be embarrassed to cry and scream. You have been hurt and you have the right to vent out your frustration. You will feel a lot better after you have cried your heart out for what has been lost. Seek out other friends, siblings or . Tell them you have been hurt and ask them for solace. You will be surprised to see that help was just around the corner. All that you needed to do was ask. One thing that should be remembered is that these betrayals are experiences that teach you valuable lessons in life.

4. Be willing to forgive despite your . Forgive them for not keeping your trust and not knowing how to treat friends. You may need to forgive them, even if they are not sorry for what they did. This is key to getting past your towards them and not harboring grudges.

5. Consider whether you want to maintain a friendly relationship with the person. Many times, a friend that betrays once will do it again. However, this is also dependent on the situation and the person. If it is someone who has betrayed your friendship in the past already, they will do it again and again if you keep letting them.

6. If you find that you no longer want to be friends with this person, sever all ties with them. You do not have to be mean about it. Assuming you followed step 1, they already probably know that you are upset with them. This will make ending your friendship easier. There is no point in dragging along a friendship when you know you are not comfortable with it. End it politely and quickly and most importantly, don’t your action. If you start feeling sorry, you are putting yourself in a position to get hurt again by this person. Learn to trust your gut and have confidence in your judgment. Try not to end the friendship with bitter ; it will just hurt you more in the end.

7. If you find that you want to maintain your friendship, make sure the other person understands that you feel they did something wrong and you have forgiven them and want to continue being friends — even if they aren’t remorseful.

8. Try to relax and take some time alone. Meditate, shop, dance, do whatever you have to do to make yourself happy. You are more likely to find a worthwhile solution while doing something you enjoy.

Tips:
1. Follow your instincts and experiences when it comes to trusting people. Obviously, there are some people you can never or should never trust.

2. If necessary, withhold some parts of yourself so you are not completely open to people. This is a tip of prevention, so you will not have to go through the trauma of betrayal.

3. If you want a true friend, be a true friend yourself. Real friendship looks at the heart, not just the “packaging.” Genuine friendship loves for love’s sake, not just for what it can get in return. True friendship is both challenging and exciting. It risks, it overlooks faults, and it loves unconditionally, but it also involves being truthful, even though it may hurt.

4. Never put someone you barely know above a friend who has proven he/she is true and loyal. Chances are the friend you are putting on the back burner would have been there for you for life had you not put the new person above them.

Warnings:
1. Human beings are sociable by nature. You cannot live your life without friends, so be very careful not to alienate all of your friends over a simple squabble.

2. Betrayal should not stop you from trusting people and making new friends. Not everyone will hurt you. There are true friends out there.

“Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.”
Girl Scout lesson

True Friendship
“True friendship is like sound ; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.”
–Charles Caleb Colton

How can we find true friendship in this often phony, superficial world? Friendship involves recognition or familiarity with another’s personality. Friends often share likes and dislikes, interests, pursuits, and passion.

How can we recognize potential friendship? Signs include a mutual desire for companionship and perhaps a common bond of some kind. Beyond that, genuine friendship involves a shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see one another grow and develop, and a hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life. True friendship involves action: doing something for someone else while expecting nothing in return; sharing thoughts and feelings without of judgment or negative criticism.

Trust is essential to true friendship. We all need someone with whom we can share our lives, thoughts, feelings, and frustrations. We need to be able to share our deepest secrets with someone, without worrying that those secrets will end up on the Internet the next day! Failing to be trustworthy with those intimate secrets can destroy a friendship in a hurry. Faithfulness and loyalty are key to true friendship. Without them, we often feel betrayed, left out, and lonely. In true friendship, there is no backbiting, no negative thoughts, no turning away.

True friendship requires certain accountability factors. Real friends encourage one another and forgive one another where there has been an offense. Genuine friendship supports during times of struggle. Friends are dependable. In true friendship, unconditional love develops. We love our friends no matter what and we always want the best for our friends.

After what I have been through with and the past week I searched for help getting over the feelings of betrayal. I found an interesting article on the topic and added some things to it that I have learned. This article was adapted by Jennifer Steele. The original is at www.wikihow.com

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