Jul

16

Objectivity and Fear

Filed Under Thoughts | 2 Comments

This morning, I found myself with the gnawing feeling of being on the verge of overwhelmed. There was so much that I wanted to do and get done right then, but I didn’t know where to start. I was having a hard time setting my priorities so I decided I needed some objectivity. I found a little over half a joint that had been leftover from a couple days ago and took a few hits.

When I use I consume about a ¼ of a joint. I usually don’t do it to get high, I do it because it allows me to step back and look at the direction my life is going and decide if that is the way I want it to go. In short, it slows my body down and allows my brain time to figure things out.

It went a different direction than I thought it would. Instead of figuring out what to do first I realized some things about my life and myself. I’m sensitive and empathic; I feel things very deeply. Many may think of it as a flaw or weakness, but I am no longer one of them. Granted, I have found an enormous amount of pain in my life because my hypersensitivity, but for the same reason there has been a great amount of joy – I have experienced both so greatly I thought I could literally burst at times.

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