Archive for February, 2008
Since Peter is married it was easy to tell him. It was a little harder with Erick because there are still residual feelings between us. Dave was a complete and utter dickhead when I told him. I guess he expected me to wait around on him… don’t think so.
I started talking to a guy named Greg around the middle of January. We met on yahoo messenger. I had sworn I wouldn’t do that anymore, but we had chatted quite a bit and we have a great deal of things in common. In addition, we are very attracted to one another. He asked me out on a date a couple days before I recorded Jeff masturbating. I accepted and I was looking forward to it.
We spoke everyday after that. We decided to go out on our first date the weekend after the Super Bowl because he had his son the weekend of the Super Bowl. We continued speaking everyday and the night before the Super Bowl he asked me if he could come down the next day after he dropped his son off at his mother’s apartment. He said he couldn’t wait another week to see me. I thought that was sweet and I was anxious to meet him in person as well. He lives about two hours away, in McAlester.
I hadn’t been talking to Erick too much between September and December. We talked, just not as frequently as we did this past August or before we split up so long ago. Back then we usually talked a minimum of three hours and as many as ten hours per day – every day. We never ran out of things to talk about.
Anyone who knows me or has dug around far enough into my blog knows that I wanted nothing more than to reconcile with Erick. I wanted that almost from the day we split up (four years ago) until very recently. In fact, a part of me still hopes to reconcile. However, that part has been getting smaller and smaller daily – since around November.
I no longer feel butterflies or giddiness when I see him on yahoo messenger or if he leaves me offline messages. I no longer feel sad if he doesn’t get online to talk to me several times a week. I no longer care if we have cybersex or not. I no longer care if he calls or comes to visit. I no longer think about him everyday. I no longer want to keep my romantic life on hold waiting for him to get over his divorce. The majority of these changes have taken place over the past five or six weeks.
Yesterday was my first day back at Directv. I had been out on medical leave since the end of October. I wasn’t really sure what to expect considering everything that has happened the past 13 months of my employment with the company. It’s been a rollercoaster ride, that’s for sure. For my sake, I am willing to wipe the slate clean. I hope they are willing to do the same. It takes too much energy to hold onto so much animosity. I’ve had my difficulties and differences of opinion with the company, but overall I have busted my ass to be an excellent employee for them.