Instant gratification isn’t possible when it comes to recovery. I need to keep reminding myself that recovery takes time; whether it is recovery from physical illness, surgery, addiction or mental illness. It takes time to regain, reclaim, and recoup all that was lost while I tried to cope with the abuse, addictions, and mental illness on my own.
I cannot flip a switch, snap my fingers, or wave a magic wand and make all that I’ve been through disappear. Dwelling on the past does not change it. The only thing I can do is stop repeating it in the present.
I have to find a way to stop letting old wounds keep me from living. I have to open myself up to life or I will never find happiness or emotional stability.
Building trust, healing old wounds, and change all take time. There are no immediate, ready-made solutions. I need to get that through my head. Once I do, I can stop chastising myself so much for making mistakes and finally heal.
On this day..
About BipolarChick (599 posts)
I’m a thirty-something bipolar woman, an advanced tech agent with a pay tv provider, tax preparer for a local charity, current Tulsa inhabitant, and I’m one credit shy of an Associate Degree in Liberal Arts. I’m working on recovery from self-injury and working toward stabilizing my bipolar symptoms. Recovery is very important to me. I’ve been mostly single the past few years and plagued by a seemingly never-ending series of jackasses, assholes, and married men. I have no children of my own, but I have lots of nieces and nephews I love to spoil.