Archive for January 30, 2008
After all that has gone on I decided it was time to pamper myself a little.
I went to the salon and had my hair done very similar to the wig in my ‘Bipolarchick Unveiled’ post. I feel a lot better about myself. It’s amazing to me how different something as simple as a hairstyle change can make women feel more confident.
After the dramatic hairdo change I decided to splurge a little bit more and have a manicure, pedicure, facial, eyebrow waxing, and massage. I left the salon with the song ‘I Feel Pretty’ stuck in my head.
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This scare with my uncle caused me to start thinking about my family and how I feel about them. I used to think that I had the most fucked up family in America and I was embarrassed to be related to them. I cared more about strangers than I did my own flesh and blood.
I didn’t dislike them personally; I was indifferent to them as a whole. ‘The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them.’
Individually, I loved and still love (to varying degrees) several of my relatives: my sister; brother; grandparents; nieces; nephews; and three of my cousins. I was indifferent to my aunts, uncles, and the rest of my cousins, I resented my mother, and I hated my father and step-father.