why doesn’t me? i’m his child and he never cared to get to know me. what does that say about me?

what did i do? why was i born? why do i have to live? why couldn’t my mother have aborted me instead of her first child?

i shouldn’t have been allowed to live. i don’t want my life. i wish someone would just take it from me. please. i can’t take it myself because then others may blame themselves and i don’t want that. it’s no one else’s fault; just my own and i don’t want anyone else to possibly blame themselves.

why does my father’s lack of love for me effect me so much? why does his opinion matter to me? why do i feel so unworthy?

my sister, tara, is the lucky one. this month is the anniversary of her . i want so much to have been able to be a part of her life. i wish i could trade places with her.