My heart hurts, like someone was squeezing, releasing, and squeezing it over and over again. clawing, squeezing. ripping. it almost feels like I can’t breathe. Then for a couple of minutes, I can’t feel anything except a huge lump in my throat and an elephant on my chest. I open myself wide open for just anyone to come and make a cruel comment that cuts right through my heart and makes me want to hurt myself by any means available.

No relief or relaxation. Stand at attention at all times. On guard. No matter what you can’t let your guard down. If you fuck up and let it down you will pay. You will pay in ways you never thought of in your worst nightmare; no exaggeration.

A man you thought would protect you from harm was harming you, as was others. These people were touching you in such a way you felt like you were nothing but a dirty whore who needed to be punished and denied the right to die. the worst thing you could think of at that time; that is what happened to you.

Either no one would believe you, they didn’t comprehend the signals you were sending, or they just didn’t give a fuck. Those are the possibilities. Which one is the true scenario?