After reading the article in my previous post, I asked myself, ‘How has bipolar disorder affected my relationships as a whole?’ I didn’t come up with a definitive answer, but I think I found a good starting point.

During my depressive , I isolate myself from everyone or I lash out at them. I push them all away because I want to be alone so I can wallow in my misery. In addition, I don’t want to burden anyone with my problems or . I’m afraid they will think less of me as a person and then they will reject me.

By pushing them away first I control the situation; at the very least I feel like I control it. I subconsciously manipulate them into leaving me. If they try to stick around (as was doing), I take my thoughts and behavior deeper and deeper into irrationality until they run off. Eventually, I always push them away, but that is hardly a victory.

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