Sep

14

What It's Like to Have a Mood Disorder

Filed Under Mental Health, Poetry & Lyrics, Thoughts | Leave a Comment

Stop.
Stand still for a minute and look deep within.

See.
Envision yourself in your mind’s eye.
When you have a firm visual memory -

Observe.
Play through a normal day, week, month, and year –
What happens?
Watch how you behave.

Contemplate.
What was it like?
Was stability present?
Was your behavior consistent?
Did your personality fluctuate?

Feel.
Pay attention to how you felt.

Imagine.
Your mood is unpredictable.
Your behavior is erratic.
Your personality is fluid.
No control.

Feel.
How do you feel?
How do others treat you?
How do you treat yourself?

Act.
Do you recognize that the problem is within?
Do you put on a mask and try to hide?
Do you get help or does shame prevent you?
Do you duck from the stones?

Pushing away everyone that loves you
Drawing up within yourself so tight you can never unwind.
Doing dangerous things without concern about the consequences.

Watching what is happening -
Nevertheless, unable to control it.

Unable to be stable.
Constantly teetering
On the edge
Trying to hold on.

That is how it feels to have a mood disorder.