Rebirth
A lot of lip service is paid to the importance of eating healthy, exercising, and getting enough sleep. I dismissed those ideas like they had no importance whatsoever. I rarely paid attention to those ideas in the past because on some level I didn’t care. I didn’t want to be healthy and I resented my body. In fact, I tortured it.
I could wax philosophical about my reasoning all day, but regardless of why, the fact is that I just didn’t give a damn about it. However, I need to understand the cause(s). I have to understand why I purposely abused my body before I can permanently change it.
I hated my body for so long. I didn’t hate it because I’m not some tall, blonde, super-thin Barbie doll figure. I hated my body because it was vulnerable and it made me vulnerable. I hated it for attracting my step-father, five step-cousins, my step-uncle, two of Tori’s uncles, two of my cousins, and a three neighbors. Fourteen people I had trusted sexually abused me. With that much abuse, I just ‘knew’ it was my fault and the shame was overwhelming.
I hated my vagina, I thought it was what made me ‘bad’. After the first rape (when I was six) I started scrubbing it with S.O.S scouring pads, steel wool, or a scrub brush whenever I bathed. When I was seven I climbed the tallest tree in my step-grandma’s yard and jumped out of it onto one of her huge flowerpots. It almost broke my tail bone and pelvis. I wanted to break it so it wouldn’t draw them to me anymore. It was black and blue for almost three weeks. Once it healed, I was riding a friend’s 10 speed bicycle and i jumped down on the bar as hard as I could. I was bruised again for a week or two. I gave up on breaking it, but I still hurt it – I started stabbing it with nails, screws, straight pins or anything else sharp and pointed I could find.
It was all in vain. It didn’t deter my abusers, it just made it more painful when they messed with me. I wanted to eradicate any trace of beauty because I thought if I was ugly I’d ultimately be safe from continued sexual abuse. Around the time my little sister was born I started developing breasts, which attracted even more abuse.
I went to church four times a week and church camp a couple summers. I prayed to Jesus everyday to make them stop, but he didn’t. I told myself God hated me and was punishing me for being a female. When my prayers went unanswered I started begging for God to let me die. He didn’t let that happen either. When I was thirteen, I turned my back on Him just as I felt he had done to me. I renounced God. I hated Him.
I started gaining a lot of weight and I continued to try to make myself ugly. It became so habitual that I didn’t even notice it anymore. Getting fat didn’t make the abuse stop either. The only thing that worked was drawing up within myself – isolating myself physically and emotionally. I became an empty shell. By the time I was fourteen the abuse from others became a lot less frequent, but I replaced it by physically, verbally, and emotionally abusing myself even more.
I’m not certain why, but I have my theories. Perhaps I had become so accustomed to abuse that I had to pick up where they left off; keep myself a victim. Or maybe I still blamed myself and my body and thought if I punished or hated myself enough I would eventually pay off the debt for my sins and be allowed to find acceptance, happiness, and love.
The part of all this that astounds me is that I didn’t consciously know my motives way back when. I had no idea I was methodically destroying myself and any chance of a happy life. All I knew was that I was ‘bad’ and had to be punished.
When an opportunity for happiness presented itself I rebelled and pushed it away; convincing myself I was doing it so I wouldn’t get hurt. In all actuality, I was hurting myself more than anyone else ever could. I denied my basic human right to happiness.
It’s almost unfathomable to me. I’m astonished that I did this to myself for almost twenty-two years. Twenty-two years!. I made myself suffer in a prison I created. What the hell? It started as a coping mechanism – a survival technique, but it almost led to complete self-destruction and my own demise.
I could beat myself up indefinitely for ruining so much of my life, but that would just be perpetuating my suffering and I’m done with that. I have paid more than enough. I can’t change the past, but I can create my future. Now is my time to heal, not suffer or die. It is my time to start living and taking care of myself and my body.
I have a new life and I’m not going to waste it any longer.
I got rid of my needles and razor blades. I have no desire to hurt my body anymore.
On this day..
- Physical Health Update - 2011
- Liberated from the Guilt and Shame - 2011
- Battle - 2006







OMG!!! How horrifying. The crimes committed against you are abominable. Your fortitude throughout that entire ordeal is amazing.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}