At 2pm today, I had court for a bullshit speeding ticket I got June 26. My roommate had to go with me because he was my witness. We had hoped that the cop wouldn’t show up.

He was fifteen minutes late. It irritated me because I know if I had been the one that was late a warrant would have been issued. The judge should have dismissed the case.

Nevertheless, the judge did not dismiss it. He did, however, offer me the opportunity to change my plea from not guilty to no contest.

I told him no because I was not guilty and that even if I just wanted to change my plea I didn’t have the to pay the fine.

He then explained that if I pled out he could get me time to pay. Then he said I was accused of going only nine miles over the posted limit, which would not count against my driving record. Consequently, I wouldn’t have to worry about my insurance premium going up.

That was the second reason I decided fight to the ticket. I didn’t want my insurance going up more because it is high enough. My insurance is already more expensive than it should be; insurance companies in Oklahoma are allowed to charge people who have mental illness higher premiums.

I told him I wanted to continue with the trial. He said if he found me guilty then the fine could change from $165 to $200 plus court costs. It was a risk I had to take.

The judge wanted to know if I planned to represent myself, I told him yes. Come on, if I had the money for an attorney I wouldn’t have fought the ticket; it was too much trouble.

The prosecutor called Officer Brandon Smith to the stand. After the prosecutor was finished, I got to cross-examine the dickhead cop. I enjoyed making an ass out of him. He had written the wrong date on the ticket, he had originally said I was going 39mph in a 35mp zone and later changed it to 39 in a 30mph zone. I also made sure that the fact that I was going down a hill when he supposedly clocked me at 39mph.

The prosecutor didn’t redirect. The judge excused Officer Smith from the witness stand. The prosecution rested.

I called my roommate as my witness. He was as nervous as I was. My mouth was so dry I could barely speak. When the prosecutor cross-examined , he was unable to trip him up.

After Dudney was excused from the witness stand I called myself to testify. After the bailiff swore me in I sat down and told the judge my side of the story. I felt like I had proven I was not guilty. However, the judge had made up his mind before the trial even started and he said he found me guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. Then he said I could appeal the decision. I didn’t want to do that, this little piss-ant trial was nerve-racking enough. I accepted the plea despite feeling like it was bullshit.

He sentenced me to pay $165 including court costs and asked if I was able to pay today. I told him I was unable to pay because I have been off and on medical leave since May 21. He wanted to know how I was supporting myself and I told him I was getting $250 a week from my insurance company.

He said he could give me time to pay or he could offer me work days. I chose the work days since I was unsure when I would be able to afford to pay the fine. He sentenced me to 24 hours of community service.

My probation officer (can you believe I have a probation officer over a speeding ticket?) assigned me to the DUI school. She said I could do clerical work for them. I was given until September 14 to complete the work hours.

On this day..