Those of us who have a mental illness tell ourselves many of the things on the list in my previous post, but most of those statements hurt like hell when they come from other people, even when they are just trying to be helpful. The reason it hurts is because it implies that it’s our fault we’re ill.

Many people assume we aren’t even putting forth an effort since they can’t see immediate results, but that assumption is grossly incorrect. Most mental illnesses make it almost impossible for us to function during an episode – no amount of will or effort will change it; we just have to ride it out.

On bad days, ‘snap out of it!’ may get me as far as getting out of bed – if I’m lucky. Or it may get a ‘shut the hell up and leave me alone’ response. On those days, doing something as simple as brushing my hair, changing my clothes or taking a shower is a huge victory.

On really bad days, no matter how much I try to motivate or myself out of bed, I just can’t do it. I start feeling inadequate and worthless. When I’m in that frame of mind, I become angry if someone says something like ‘you can’t hide forever’ or ‘you’re just being lazy’, or ‘nothing is wrong with you.’

Sometimes it gets me so furious that I want to lash out at them, physically or verbally. Most of the time I am able to control myself and keep from getting into a fistfight, but I still have a difficult time keeping myself from saying cruel things.

After lashing out I rarely feel vindicated – I usually feel like I’m a bad person and then I start comparing myself to my biological father and talking down to myself. I tell myself things like ‘you’re nothing but an evil, mean, worthless, dumb, unlovable psycho-bitch…’ Those are the nicer things I say to myself.

After a half hour or so of beating myself up I feel an unbearable ball of pain, self-hatred, , and tears that won’t fall welling up deep inside me. Before I know it I’m cutting myself, , wishing for , or doing something else harmful to my well-being.

…The domino effect at its worst.

My point is a little compassion, sensitivity, and forgiveness goes a long way in dealing with someone who suffers from mental illness. When someone you care about is mentally ill please understand that when we are sick we may say and do things that are out of character and hurtful to ourselves or others. Remember, we still care about you and try not to take our words and actions personally.

On this day..