My uncle Don has been visiting since Friday. He drove up from San Antonio with his boyfriend, , and their dog, Heidi. He moved back down there a couple years ago. Since he’s in town my grandparents decided to have a get-together. The entire (from my grandparents down) was there, except Jeff’s kids from his first marriage, and my brother, . couldn’t be there because he’s currently incarcerated. Jo-Jo and Lexi couldn’t be there because their mom hasn’t let Jeff see them since he got remarried.

my family tree
My Uncle Don’s wife, Majel, her son, James Jr, and her brother, (who is also one of my roomies), were also there. Uncle Don is still legally married to my Aunt Majel, but they have been separated since he came “out of the closet” when was about 2 years old. Joe, (one of my roomies), Gerald (’ fiancee), (Jeff’s wife), Lisa (Uncle Brad’s ex-stepdaughter), Miranda (Lisa’s daughter), and Chris (Dena’s husband) went as well.

Before the reunion we were rushing around trying to get everything ready since it was just decided last night. made potato salad. I made ranch and fiesta ranch dip, cut carrots and baked peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies. Then I made a chocolate creme pie with chocolate and peanut butter chips. Since I haven’t been working I’ve turned into a regular Suzy Homemaker.

We had the reunion at a shelter in O’Brien Park. We had a cookout, played badminton and dominoes, and just spent time together. There wasn’t any drama, fights, , or drugs involved. It was a “normal” gathering. Some may have considered it boring, but not me. It was a welcomed change.

I had a good time and I realized some things about myself and my family that I have been blind to. Our family used to be a freak show without the tent and somewhere along the line (while no one was looking), it changed. We still have some Jerry Springer-esque secrets and memories, but for the most part we have all grown into a non-dysfunctional family. Separately, we all still have many of our dysfunctional ways, but not as a whole anymore.

I guess that’s because we’re not kids anymore and we have more control over what happens in our lives, how we react to things that do happen, and how we behave overall. Or maybe we’ve just all gotten really good at hiding ourselves from each other.

I realized that I need to let go of the past. Horrible things happened, but I can’t change them. My bad memories are just memories. It’s the past. I don’t have to let what happened back then keep affecting my life. Resenting my mother for not protecting me isn’t doing either of us any good. Holding on to the hatred I feel for doesn’t hurt him, it hurts me. I need to start to forgive those who have wronged me in the past. I need to look at things in the present. I’ve changed a lot and I need to give others the benefit of the doubt.

After the reunion I went to Granny’s to play with Heidi. I hadn’t seen her in a couple years. I was really attached to that dog back in the day. After that I went home and relaxed. Later, I went to the gay club with Don, Raymond, Dena, Tori, and Joe, which deserves an entry all its own.

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Listening to: George Thorogood and the Destroyers – Bad to the Bone

On this day..