Archive for July, 2007

Obloquy of a Cutter

Cutting is my most destructive addiction. I started myself when I was twelve – after my first suicide attempt. It wasn’t a behavior. In fact, self-injuring was my coping mechanism for life. It’s what kept me from killing myself. Granted it wasn’t a constructive or healthy method, but it worked. Until December 2005 I hadn’t cut since high school.

I’m not quite certain what caused me to start doing it again in the first place. There are several possibilities: maybe it was the need to release pent-up emotions (rage, , , hatred, , ); maybe I wanted to punish myself; maybe I felt I deserved it; maybe it helped me regain control; maybe it distracted me from all the emotional pain; maybe I used my blood as a substitute for tears. It was probably a combination of all those things.

Regardless of why I did it, the need consumed me until it drowned out everything else and all I could think of was seeing my blood running down a drain, filling a pickle jar, or soaking a towel. It was so hypnotic and relaxing and beautiful.

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Family Reunion 7-29-07

My uncle Don has been visiting since Friday. He drove up from San Antonio with his boyfriend, , and their dog, Heidi. He moved back down there a couple years ago. Since he’s in town my grandparents decided to have a get-together. The entire (from my grandparents down) was there, except Jeff’s from his first marriage, and my brother, . couldn’t be there because he’s currently incarcerated. Jo-Jo and Lexi couldn’t be there because their mom hasn’t let Jeff see them since he got remarried.

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Living Happily in our World as an INFP

Some INFPs have difficulty fitting into our society. Their problems are often a result of an unawareness of appropriate social behavior, an unawareness of how they come across to others, or unrealistic expectations of others. Any one of the above issues stem from using Extraverted iNtuition in a diminished manner.

An who takes in information for the sake of understanding the world around them, rather than one who takes in information only to support their own ideas, will have a clearer, more objective understanding of how society values social behaviors and attitudes. He or she will also be more aware of how they are perceived by others, and will have more realistic expectations for others’ behavior within a relationship. Such well-adjusted INFPs will fit happily into our society.
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Potential Problem Areas for INFPs

With any gift of strength, there is an associated weakness. Without “bad”, there would be no “good”. Without “difficult”, there would be no “easy”. We value our strengths, but we often curse and ignore our weaknesses. To grow as a person and get what we want out of life, we must not only capitalize upon our strengths, but also face our weaknesses and deal with them. That means taking a hard look at our personality type’s potential problem areas.

INFPs are rare, intelligent, creative beings with many special gifts. I would like for the to keep in mind some of the many positive things associated with being an as they read some of this more negative material. Also remember that the weaknesses associated with being an are natural to your type. Although it may be depressing to read about your type’s weaknesses, please remember that we offer this information to enact positive change. We want people to grow into their own potential, and to live happy and successful lives.
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The Little Girl by John Michael Montgomery

I like this song. It moves me.
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