and I barely talked Sunday and we didn’t talk at all Monday. I was certain I had successfully ran him off, but he started text messaging me yesterday. We flirted for awhile and then he wanted us to spend time together so I picked him up after he got off . We ended up going to the bar with Joe.

About ten minutes after we arrived some guy I had never met bought me a few jager bombs. I was there with Nick, but why turn down free drinks? That guy had to have seen me walk in with Nick, but he didn’t care. After three or four drinks he started acting like I was there with him instead of Nick.

Nick didn’t like that and he squashed it pretty fast. He came up behind me and started kissing my neck. Before long we were all over each other and that guy left us alone.

We continued to make out until he noticed the bruises on my arm from the needle. He said that he wished I would find another way to deal with things. I didn’t respond and he didn’t press the matter. He’s figured out that the last thing I need is any lectures. He knows I do that enough to myself.

I I had a few more drinks and he coerced me into shooting a game of pool with him. He was giving me while we were playing because I suck at pool. I actually learned a little from him. I only played a couple games with him, but he and Joe played several. While they were playing I got tipsy.

We started flirting again and before I knew it we were making out something fierce. He would kiss me every time it was Joe’s turn. During one of Joe’s turns Nick said something (I can’t remember what it was) and I responded with, “I got you.” I had meant that I understood what he was talking about, but he looked at me with a sparkle in his eyes and flashed his smile at me and said “Yeah, you do have me.”

I wasn’t exactly sure if he meant what I hoped he meant, which was that he was falling for me, or if he just meant that I had him for the night. I wasn’t brave enough to ask him what exactly he meant, so I just pulled him close and kissed him.

We made out a lot more. We didn’t care who saw. He was hinting around about us having . I thought it was about time. I was starting to feel very undesirable because we hadn’t has since we started again. I’m a very sexual woman… even more so when I’m going through a mixed, hypomanic, or episode.

Nick only had two beers at the bar. I was a little more than tipsy, but I didn’t want to get because I was afraid I’d self-injure again. Nick didn’t get because he was driving and he had to be at work early. When we got back to the house Joe was pressuring us to get with him. I told him I didn’t want to. In the past, I would have given in and gotten so he would shut up, but I’m finally learning to set .

He didn’t respect my decision, so I had to get snippy with him. He still wouldn’t listen and it was pissing me off. I rolled up my shirt sleeve to show the bruises and lifted my shirt enough to show some of the cuts and then I said, “I don’t want to get drunk because it can make me lose control and do shit like this. I said I don’t want to drink anymore tonight, so just fucking drop it.”

He finally got the point. There was a lingering sense of tension and awkwardness, but I lightened up the mood by ambushing them with silly string. After I had thoroughly covered them with the silly string i tossed a couple cans of it to them and we all sprayed the hell out of each other.

After we cleaned up the mess we played dominoes and then poker. After a couple hours I was bored with playing poker and I went to my room. Nick said he’d be in there in a half hour or so. I know he planned on us having sex and I was looking forward to it after almost two months of waiting for him to finally give it up. Ironically, I fell asleep before he came to bed. This morning, he gave me hell about it because I had promised to give him a massage. Oops.