Tomorrow is my birthday. I can’t believe I’ll be 28 already. The past seven years have flown by.

The last 25 years have been one helluva rollercoaster. I guess that’s one of the things I have to deal with since I’m bipolar. Oh well, I can’t say my life has been boring, even when I wished it was. It is finally starting to level out though and I feel more in control of my life now than I ever did in the past. Let’s hope it stays that way.

I’m not sure what I’m doing on my birthday, but Saturday and are throwing me a party. Hopefully we’ll have the pool and grill set up by then.

I will probably drink, but I don’t plan to get . I got for the first time since New Year’s Eve on May 20th. I had planned on drinking, so I didn’t take my . I had made a gallon of Sex on the Beach because , Tori, Dudney, Amber and Adam had been drinking too. I have been forbidden to drink any vodka except for Skyy because all the other brands make me mean. I made it strong. After I drank a glass I started getting an attitude. I felt it coming so I went outside to be alone for a bit. Normally, that would have been cutting or time, but I didn’t and I’m proud of myself.

After I felt calmed I went inside. Nick was unpacking the kitchen. Everyone else was off doing their own thing and Nick and I started talking. I started slamming shots of buttery nipples and before I knew it I was giddy. I guess I found the antidote to vodka-enduced attitude. He started talking about “us” after I was pretty tipsy. I told him a lot of stuff, but I don’t remember what all it was. I was considering taking him to bed. I went to my room to think about it and I passed out.

On this day..