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May
29
Girlfriend
Filed Under Thoughts | Leave a Comment
May
28
Justice?!?
Filed Under Thoughts | 2 Comments
I went with my mom to visit my little brother, David, in prison yesterday. I miss him so much, but it hurts me to see him. He was only seventeen when he got locked up for being an accessory to robbery. He’s almost 22 now and I feel like I barely even know him anymore. Seeing him in prison is very painful. I feel so much regret for him. I also feel a lot of guilt over the crime he committed because he partly did it to help me. Granted, I didn’t ask him to help rob the store, but he tried to help me the only way he could think of at the time.
I was really concerned about him awhile back because he got his patch (gang tattoo) from the U.A.B (United Aryan Brotherhood). I didn’t like it, but I understood why he joined them. A kid his age needs all the protection he can get in a shit-hole like that. Now, ironically, I’m glad he joined them. They kept him from being killed. I’m really worried about that now because
May
20
Tearing Down the Walls
Filed Under Relationships, Thoughts | 1 Comment
This thing with Nick is making me squirm inside. Our relationship has been going unusually well and it’s scary as hell. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. The anxiety keeps my muscles tense and knotted up, especially when we are laying in bed together. I don’t know how or when it happened, but I want to start giving my heart to him.
I haven’t really risked my heart in four years. I’ve just been using men for sex and letting them use me any way they wished. I pretend that a happy, stable, loving, and lasting relationship is the last thing I want, but the truth of the matter is I want it more than anything. I need it. I NEED – why does that make me feel so wrong?
May
18
Insane Clown Posse
Filed Under Events, Family & Friends, Guys, Relationships | Leave a Comment
Tonight was the ICP concert. I went with Nick, Tori, Jeff, Carah, and Dudney. It started out fun, but I ended up pissed off at Nick. He’s still in the doghouse actually.
May
17
Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
Filed Under Flashbacks | Leave a Comment
I decided to go ahead and pursue the charge of discrimination I filed against my job.
I initially reported the discrimination January 23, 2007. They requested a written statement after I got out of the hospital. I faxed it to them February 27, 2007 but did not hear anything back until late March or early April (I can’t really remember). A federal investigator had contacted me and wanted to pursue my case. He sent me sworn affadavits to sign and wanted all the evidence I could provide.
I was struggling with the choice because things have changed at my job the past few weeks. My team leader has completely changed his attitude toward me. Another reason I was questioning my decision was because Directv did clear my record of the attendance occurrences I incurred while I was in the hospital. However, their recent actions and behavior does not excuse the initial repugnant treatment.
