Apr

18

The Evils of Meth (part 2)

Filed Under Bipolar Disorder, Thoughts | Leave a Comment

I had to have her committed to a state psychiatric hospital about four years ago because she was so strung out and paranoid she became a danger to herself and everyone she came into contact with. She thought that the government had implanted a camera in her eye and a microphone in her ear. She thought everyone was plotting to kill her. She thought the north star was a helicopter the government was using to follow her. She heard voices telling her things like (my sister) was kidnapped and burnt alive - she had even convinced herself that she smelled ’ flesh and hair burning.

I was living with my sister and grandparents at the time all of that was happening. My grandpa wanted to help her, so he made her come stay with us. Grandpa supervised her all day. He had gone to bed, but she was still awake (she still had a lot of dope in her system and she hadn’t been to sleep in a few days). I was awake as well because I was usually up really late at night, talking to online. That particular night, Granny actually fell asleep early (she’s usually a night owl, like me), so I was the only one awake besides my mother.

After a little while I noticed her pacing the hallway with nine knives, a can of hairspray, a lighter, and a hammer. I asked what she was doing and she told me that we were being held hostage and that the house was surrounded. She said she was going to protect us. I knew she had completely lost it and it freaked me out. I didn’t really know what to do or say. She sat on my bed which was directly behind my computer and office chair. I turned my cam on so I could watch her and make sure she didn’t decide to use one of her weapons on me. I was worried she would turn on me because a couple weeks before that she thought I was one of the people plotting to kill her.

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