I didn’t want to accept the reality of my circumstances because I hadn’t figured out the reasons for them. The fact is that I may never fully comprehend the reasons for certain events, people, things, and circumstances in my life. Nevertheless, I have an obligation to myself to accept the reality in which I live and act accordingly.
It can be helpful to look at past experiences for information about ourselves and our past relationships. A lot can be learned from memories, inventories, reasoning things out with others, and analyzing past behavior.
After taking an inventory of some of my past behaviors I realized that some of the things I did were extremely immature – which made me ask myself what exactly mature behavior entails. Exploring this question helped me identify some of my goals as I seek to change my sometimes infantile behavior.
To me, maturity includes:
- knowing myself
- asking for help when I need it
- admitting when I’m wrong
- making amends with people I have hurt in the past
- forgiving myself as well as those who have harmed me
- being completely honest with myself and others
- accepting love from others, even if I’m having a tough time loving myself
- recognizing that I always have choices
- taking responsibility for the choices I make and accept the consequences – good or bad
- seeing that life is a blessing and to stop contemplating or attempting suicide when things aren’t going well… even when it seems as if the world is crashing down around me.
- having an opinion without insisting that others share it
- having respect for myself
- loving myself as is, without placing all these impossible to achieve conditions upon myself
- recognizing my shortcomings without dwelling on them
- recognizing my strengths
- accepting that I am human and allowed to make mistakes
- acknowledging that my needs are my responsibility, but to allow others to help fulfill those needs.
- setting boundaries
- not discarding my boundaries out of fear, guilt, or pressure
- accepting that people may become angry or hurt if I say no, but how they feel is not my responsibility
- caring for people without having to take care of them or make excuses for their behavior
- refraining from trying to control others
- accepting that it is impossible to be perfect
- accepting that I’ll always be a work in progress
About BipolarChick (599 posts)
I’m a thirty-something bipolar woman, an advanced tech agent with a pay tv provider, tax preparer for a local charity, current Tulsa inhabitant, and I’m one credit shy of an Associate Degree in Liberal Arts. I’m working on recovery from self-injury and working toward stabilizing my bipolar symptoms. Recovery is very important to me. I’ve been mostly single the past few years and plagued by a seemingly never-ending series of jackasses, assholes, and married men. I have no children of my own, but I have lots of nieces and nephews I love to spoil.