While I was in I admitted that I needed to make some serious changes in myself, my behavior, and my self-image. After years of trying to cope with some of the more damaging things in my life, such as: being physically, sexually, emotionally, and verbally abused by my alcoholic/drug addict step-father and others; ignored by my drug addict/co-dependent mother; and rejected by my biological father, I didn’t think very highly of myself. In fact, I don’t think I could have hated myself more. I was plagued with of hopelessness, , , worthlessness, despair, and rage throughout most of my childhood and adolescence as well as my entire adult life, thus far. I didn’t have much faith that anything good could come out of my life.


In Brookhaven, I learned I can transform something negative into something positive by addressing my self-defeating attitude and behavior. I can overcome the internal programming and come to terms with the and devastating events I lived through.

Though I will never regain my innocence I can regain my self-worth and self-respect and finally stop blaming and hating myself. I can become a more complete human being by filling the emptiness within me with for other people as well as for myself. I would feel much better if could learn to allow myself to express it freely and more importantly, accept it from others.

I can achieve serenity and enjoy some peace in my life. I don’t have to hold on to my past. I don’t have to look back on it except maybe to learn from it, and to release all the negative feelings and self-defeating attitudes once and for all. Though the journey of recovery is far from easy I take solace in knowing that one day I will be recovered and a completely whole person.

On this day..