Archive for January, 2007

Committed: Day 6

5 years ago
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The past few days in the hospital have helped me tremendously. I’ve only had the urge to cut a few times. Unfortunately, one of those times is right now. That’s why I’m – to try to reduce the urge. I know I could find a way to cut. I’m off suicide watch now and can check out a razor from one of the psych techs.

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Committed: Day 4

5 years ago
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I’ve been in the “hospital” since 1/24/07, but I didn’t come here () until 1/25/07. The first day here I was on unit restriction and suicide watch. I was taken off unit restriction and allowed to go to the TV room as long as the psych techs knew where I was. They also allowed me to go to the dining room with the other patients. I’m still on suicide watch though.

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Triggers

5 years ago
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Process group questions on :

1. What are my triggers?

  • Being unable to express my because of my fears (rejection, judgment, abandonment, ridicule, embarrassment, criticism) and my of being unworthy and unlovable.
  • Becoming too emotionally attached to someone, especially in a romantic relationship.
  • Depression
  • Flashbacks of good and bad memories
  • Memorable places
  • Anniversaries (, breakups, miscarriages, engagements, relationships, deaths and birthdates of loved ones.)
  • Deep emotional pain
  • Anger at myself and others — this is one of my main triggers
  • When I feel like I need punished

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I Can't Live Like This Anymore!

5 years ago
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I can’t do this anymore. It’s just too hard. I’ve been feeling very suicidal all month. I’m so fucked up in the head right now. All I want to do is kill myself and get it over with.

I found a website designed by a woman that almost killed herself. She’s trying to help people that are in the dark place she was in once. She made a lot of sense and I know if I don’t get some professional help I am going to end up killing myself.

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DirecTV doesn't care if I die as long as I come to work

5 years ago
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My job would rather me kill myself than miss to get help.

I’m bipolar. I’ve been fighting suicidal urges for several months. They are getting harder and harder to resist. I have resorted to cutting (again) and . I hadn’t cut in years until December 05. After a few really good sessions I’d be good for a month or two. Until New years eve my last cutting episode was in September. On New years bad things happened and I was . When I’m intoxicated it’s really hard to ignore the urges to hurt myself.

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