I’ve decided I’m going to turn this blog into my memoirs so in addition to writing about the present I’m going to write about past events that were significant in my life.

I haven’t been posting too much lately because I’ve been trying to get the php code perfect and I’ve been creating my own wordpress plugins (see the movie quote plugin). After I have the blog the way I want I’ll go back to building my website. I’m working on getting a new domain just for my blog.

Update on other stuff:
I went to my shrink a few weeks ago and she upped my dosage of wellbutrin from 300mg a day to 450mg. I wanted her to because I felt like the lamictal was leaving me in just a blah mood. It’s a mood stabilizer but it’s mainly to help prevent episodes. I’ve only had one full blown episode in my life that I know of. I do have hypomanic episodes, but in my opinion those are the best. I’m happy during those times, without it being over the top. The wellbutrin is for the depressive side, and I have had plenty of full blown depressive episodes.

It’s been a couple weeks and I think that the increase in wellbutrin is helping. I feel better, I stopped teetering on the brink of fucking up my career again, among other things. I’m being social again. I don’t have to force myself to do basic everyday things.

It is also helping my smoking even more. I had cut way down on cigarettes when the 300mg got into my system, but now that the 450mg is kicking in I have cut down even more. I think before long I’m going to quit smoking. It won’t be on purpose. For some reason it cuts the cravings down completely. I rarely actually crave a cigarette anymore, but I still go out to smoke on my breaks and when I’m out with friends or at the computer. Most of the time I can’t even finish a full cigarette anymore. They taste nasty now, so that is a definite perk. It would save me quite a bit of if I quit smoking because I’m a cigarette snob and will only smoke Marlboro reds. It didn’t matter if I was broke and couldn’t afford food, I’d go hungry and get my smokes and coke… screwed up priorities I know, but those things were more important to me than food… coke still is. I wish I could cut that addiction, but it’s so deep-seated I don’t think I’ll even be able to quit.