I found out a few weeks ago that and his wife are separated and he’s moving out. That’s crazy. I’m absolutely fucking amazed.

I have mixed emotions when it comes to Erick. A part of me still loves him very much. Sometimes, our time together feels like it was a hundred years ago, but then there are times when it seems like it was just yesterday.

I can’t help but to wonder about what happened to make them finally admit to themselves and each other that their marriage is over.

It’s crazy that I hadn’t checked on him in over a year and then when I do get a wild hair up my ass to do it, I find out he’s separated. That is something I used to want to happen so freaking badly. A small part of me is happy that it is happening. How fucked up is that? The sad thing is I’d take him back in a heartbeat if he asked me to.

Intuition is a funny thing.

I want to contact Erick in the worst way. It has taken every ounce of self-control and I can muster to keep from doing it.

I’m scared that he might reject my friendship. I’m scared that I have ulterior motives.

Besides, he’s barely been separated two months. I don’t want to be perceived as a vulture circling overhead, waiting to swoop down and plunder the spoils of wedded sorrow.

Another thing is the whole rebound thing. Erick and I shared something very special before things went awry and left us hating to each other. In his current state of emotional limbo I’m somewhat afraid that he would restart a relationship with me because he is scared to be alone.

I don’t want to ‘move in for the kill.’ I believe that if Erick wants me to be a part of his life he will contact me.