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Dec
14
Redemption :)
Filed Under Sexcapades | 1 Comment
Ok, I know I said I wasn’t really interested in sex anymore. Well, I didn’t lie, but my hormones changed their mind. Surprise, surprise.
Dec
10
Good Party, Gone Bad (naughty as hell)
Filed Under Sexcapades | 1 Comment
The party last night was fucking crazy. I’m having a hard time finding the words to describe it. *gasp*
The party was to celebrate Dudney’s birthday. It started out innocent enough. Tiffany was the first one here besides Tori, Dudney and I. Shortly after she got here Doug, JR, David, Amber, Heather, Roxanne, and Natalie showed up. Nick was working so he couldn’t come. Jonathan wanted to come over, but I knew I’d end up sleeping with him again if I let him come over so I ignored his calls.
I was in the shower when Doug and the others got here. I came out and saw that he and JR both showed up… and with their girlfriends nonetheless. Geezus, talk about feeling awkward as all hell.
Doug is JR’s uncle but they are only a year or so apart. I’ve had sex with both of them in the past. They are related to my roomie.
Amber and Tori both were teasing me because they could tell I wanted to hide out in my room. I knew I wasn’t going to enjoy myself unless I started drinking and loosened up. I slammed 7 shots of jager in 15 mins. Doug started trying to corner me almost immediately and then I’ll be damned if JR wasn’t far behind.
Dec
9
Buckcherry & Crossfade Concert
Filed Under Events | Leave a Comment
I went to see Crossfade and Buckcherry last night with Amber and Dudney. I saw both bands a couple months ago at Dischorus ‘06 with Dudney.
I’m not a huge fan of either band. I like Crossfade’s ‘Colors’ and ‘Cold. Buckcherry’s songs ‘All Lit Up’, ‘Crazy Bitch’, and ‘Sorry’ are some of my favorites.
The three of us got high and took a few shots before we went to the show. Amber drove. We got lost on the way to the Cain’s Ballroom (even though we have been to dozens of shows there) because we were high as hell and forgot to exit the highway a few times.
Once we finally got there, the line was about half a mile long. It was freezing outside, so the three of us stayed in the car until the doors opened. We liked the bands, but not enough to freeze our asses off for them. So we smoked another bowl while we were waiting and downed some of the jager I brought with me. I’m well known to carry around a coke bottle full of jager (at bars and concerts, usually).
Dec
8
The unthinkable has happened, I’m not really interested in sex anymore… I never thought this day would come, lol. It’s probably only because it’s been almost three weeks since I’ve had sex. Dr.’s orders.
The three week mark will be Monday, Dec 11th. The Dr really told me to wait 4 weeks, but I got a second opinion and was told as long as there wasn’t any cramping or bleeding I could do it after 3 weeks.
Dec
4
Anniversary of My Last (and hopefully final) Suicide Attempt
Filed Under Bipolar Disorder, Events, Flashbacks, Relationships, Thoughts | 1 Comment
December 2nd was the one year anniversary of my last suicide attempt. The scars on my wrist have faded a lot – thanks to mederma. They aren’t pink anymore so they are hard to notice unless you are looking for them. I am very proud that I haven’t made anymore attempts to take my own life.
I’m also proud that I have not bloodlet or cut since August 19th – I’m two weeks shy of the four month mark. I haven’t even had the urge to do it. I think it has a lot to do with McKayla. I love that baby so much and I want to be around to watch her grow up and I want to stop hurting myself. I know now that when I hurt myself I also hurt those who love me. And people actually do love me.
