I went back to see my dr on the 14th. She upped my dosage of lamictal to 300mgs a day; took me off seroquel (thank goddess); and added 50-100mg of vistaril a night (for sleep and to reduce anxiety). She kept my wellbutrin at 300mg for now.

I slept really good last night. Hell, I slept almost 12 straight hours. It felt damn good too.

Currently, I am fighting my worst enemy – myself. I’m trying to get my priorities straight and quit sabatoging myself. It’s really hard though. I keep catching myself trying to lapse back into . I’ve been moody and I’ve been having to force myself to do basic things like showering, cleaning the apt, etc. I hate it.

I cut again… the cuts weren’t as long as usual, but they were deeper. I had to stop because my roomie came home, so I didn’t quite get it out of my system.

I hate what I’m doing and I really want to try to stop. I decided to start taking so I can look at them when I have the urge to cut – so maybe it will keep me from doing it.


On this day..