and I were pretty much joined at the hip.

He was in school at Platt College and I worked at Ron’s during the day. After class he would come up to Ron’s and hang out until I got off . We never got in trouble for him hanging out at my job so much because my mom was my boss.

After I would get off work we would go to Dorian’s to hang out. We would stay the night at Dorian’s several nights a week. The other nights we would crash at my mom’s house. He only went to his parent’s house to get clothes.

When we had been together for about 3 weeks we went to ’s birthday party. We ended up being the only ones there except for and his girlfriend, Spanky.

I felt a bit awkward. I was in a room with my boyfriend, an ex boyfriend, and his girlfriend. There was a pissing contest about who knew me better between Brian and Raymond. I felt sorry for Brian’s girlfriend. She wasn’t really included much. I kept trying to talk to her so she didn’t feel so left out.

Most of the things we talked about she would end up fitting Brian into the conversation somehow. When she would talk about , going out, etc., she would say that Brian wouldn’t let her do it. When he heard her say something like that he would say that he didn’t give a damn what she did.

It was funny to me, but at the same time I felt bad for her. I was the center of Raymond and Brian’s attention and it made me uncomfortable. I could feel their dislike for each other.

Brian and Raymond went to the liquor store together. Spanky and I stayed at the apartment. When they got back Raymond told me about Brian trying to get him to check out other women. Raymond told him that I was all the woman he needed. Brian told him it was okay to look as long as he didn’t touch. Raymond told him again that he only had eyes for me.

I thought that was very sweet and it definitely won Raymond some brownie points. One of the things I hated about Brian was his utter disregard for my . We we were out he would frequently stare at other women. He was extremely obvious and it was disrespectful. It also hurt me and made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for him.

Up to that point I liked Raymond a lot, but in my heart I had wanted to be back with Brian. I think it was because Brian was familiar territory. I had been wearing one of those hemp wish bracelets – when they break your wish is supposed to come true. I had wished to reconcile with Brian.

After awhile Brian got his bong out and offered some to us. I had quit smoking pot per Raymond’s request. We decided to get high together that one night for the first and last time.

After we were all stoned the banter between Raymond and Brian was getting more and more heated. The more it went on, the less appealing Brian became to me. Before the end of the evening I decided that I didn’t want Brian anymore. I only wanted to be with Raymond. At that point I asked Raymond for his pocket knife and then I cut the bracelet off my ankle and threw it in the ashtray.

Both of them looked puzzled. I said that I didn’t want the wish the bracelet represented to come true anymore. I know Raymond figured it out but Brian is an idiot so I don’t think he picked up on what I meant.

That is the night I opened my heart up completely to Raymond.

On this day..