I’m at , bored off my ass. I worked OT again last night. I sat in ’s section (on purpose). I wonder why. At first, I acted completely oblivious to him, like I had no idea he was there. He kept trying to get my attention. Then he would come over and talk to me or smile, or toss a stick of gum, etc. I got the distinct impression that we was flirting with each other. When I was about to leave because my OT was finished he took his lunch break and wanted me to go outside with him. We talked a bit. He was mostly bitching about his gf, Sammy. There is still a spark between us. I don’t yearn for him and I’m not in with him but in some weird way I’m drawn to him. It’s weird. For over a year I’ve barely given him a second thought, so why did that change all of a sudden. It doesn’t make much sense to me.

Maybe it’s because we had a few months ago. He is the best lover I’ve ever had. He has more skills than (even though is awesome in different ways in bed). But Ray hurt me so much before… why would he even consider I’d want to get back with him? First love or not, I couldn’t possibly put myself at risk for getting hurt that badly again.

On this day..